Racing Through Time
by raziella
Summary: A year after the Setsu-Cain project, their relationship has moved onto friendship, but presumptions, fear and hasty actions cause some serious damage. Can they patch up their wounds in time, or will denial and pride prevent a happy ever after ending?
1. Chapter 1

At 10 am, Friday, in Tokyo, at LME in a locker room for the special section LoveMe, there was an orange haired girl standing in front of her locker reading a note. She was dressed in a scream pink jump suit, but the girl did not seem praticularly worried about her choice of clothes. Instead she concentrated on the note, or so it would seem. The scribbling was not difficult to read, nor was it long, but since the girl's mind was elsewhere she found herself re-reading the short letter repeatedly. Her eyes simply looking at it without seeing, she jumped five feet up in the air when the door crashed open and her best friend rushed in.

"Moko-san!" the girl standing by the locker shrieked when she recognized the swirl of black hair entering.

The newcomer did not pause to greet her friend. Her face was a mask with mixed feelings of irritation and anticipation, however someone could pull that off.

"We need to hurry! Sawara-san told me he wants to see the both of us in his office right now", Kotonami Kanae said hurridely to stop the anticipated attack by the pink dressed girl. To her relief, Mogami Kyouko did freeze for a second, which allowed Kanae to rush past her and, in a period of less than fifteen seconds of time, change into a matching horrible pink jump suit.

Kyouko stood and watched her friend, unable to completely keep up with the rapid movements, until she remembered her note, still in a tight grip of her hand. She raised it to read and soon realized it was a LoveMe request but deduced it second priority to LoveMe manager's request. She folded the piece of paper for later use and tucked in her back pocket of her jump suit.

"Mo! What are you doing? Let's hurry! Kanae asked irritated and grabbed her arm to drag her to their meeting.

When passing quite a few interested looks she realized her mistake and let go of Kyouko who still kept up with her speed.

_I swear, one day I'm gonna end up just like her. A decease of idiocy spread by association,_ Kanae grumbles.

They reached Sawara Takenori's office and after a short reply to their knocking they entered.

"Ah, I'm so glad you could both come", he greeted them. "I've got new offers for the both of you, and Kotonami-kun, you have even got an offer for a movie", he said with a proud smile.

Both talentos froze up. Kanae soon regained her cool and thanked Takeniro and took the script while trying to fend off Kyouko who reacted rather differently. She bounced up in the air while trying desperately to hug her friend while screaming in joy.

"You would play the second lead in a romantic comedy by the name _Looking for Ever Love_", Takenori explained.

"That's great, Moko-san! This could be your debut! Of course you would get such an offer. In fact, I don't know what took them so long to see your amazing talent!" she screamed while laughing without even noticing the stares of Takeniro's colleages and her friend's futile attempt to read the introduction to the movie at the same time as she pulled her sleeve and hugged her.

"Mo! Why don't you ask what offers you got instead of ruining mine?" Kanae screamed when she got enough and almost ripped a page as she tried to turn it.

Big tear filled eyes looked up at her as soon as she uttered the words and Kanae quickly swallowd the big lump of guilt growing in her throat.

"Am I ruining your job?" Kyouko asked in a small voice with trembling lip.

"YES! I mean no! I... stop that! I don't know, just don't cry or I'll feel guilty", she answered and bite back her irritation when Kyouko bowed in appology for sending her BFF into a state of guilt. She send Takeniro a look pleading for him to move on, and the man catch on surprisingly quickly.

"Mogami-kun, you also got an offer, two actually, but one is rather short so I think you should be able to do both of you are willing to have a tight schedule for a few days."

His words dragged Kyouko attention back from Kanae who sighed in relief. She really couldn't handle those sorrowfilled eyes. She returned her own attention to her script and her eyes narrowed when she looked at the casting.

"One is a guest appearance in an ongoing drama called Witch Hunt where you would play a small role of a victum being burnt on the stake after a short encounter with the lead being a witch. They said they looked for someone with your attitude in real life, but with the ability to show serious pain and director Ogata was the one who recommended you, saying you would surely pull it off", Takenori continued and handed her small script which she accepted.

She looked at the title, Witch Hunt, and shivered in anticipation. It wasn't faries, but at least there was magic.

"Would my character actually be a witch?" she asked slightly worried when the realization hit her that she might actually be as evil as Mio considering the one who recommended her.

"No, no, you would be an innocent commoner who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time", Takenori answered while flipping trough a stack of papers. He caught glimpse of the right script and quickly moved on to the next offer.

"Your other one is a bigger role where you would be a permanent member of the cast in a drama called Racing Through Time. You would actually play the lead, named Ai."

He offered her the script and she ripped it open and started reading the summary. Ai is an orphan who happed to get mixed up with an almost identical girl while on a trip to Tokyo. She starts a new life as the daughter of a mafia boss when he dies after beginning to create some strong feelings of trust like between father and daughter, which she had never experienced before. Filled with revenge after a long period of grieving she starts training herself to take over the gang in place of the mafia boss. From there an intense drama war of intelligence and ability to keep face begin. A while into the drama she meets her biggest enemy and falls in love.

Kyouko stopped reading and looked up at Takenori who froze in place at the spine chilling look he recieved. Unconciously leaning backwards in his chair he asked with a voice that cracked:

"Ye-es?"

"It's a romance?"

Even though it is formed as a statement, he understood it was a question and shaked his head.

"N-no, but every drama usually has some sort of small romance intrigue, this is no different, but the main plot revolves around the experiences of a girl that fate has decided to play a trick on", Takenori explained and swallowed hard when the normal room temperature returned.

"Why, then I accept", Kyouko smiled brilliantly. "Both", she added, bowed and left along with Kanae who just shaked her head in defeat at her strange friend.

After a long day with nothing but LoveMe work, Kyouko waved goodbye to Kanae to meet up with Ren for their usual movie night. He was standing by the door to the entrance at the back. He is dressed in black slacks, a brown polo shirt, black boots and a big coat, making him look slightly dangerous, but under his cap his sweet features warmed all the way down to her toes.

They started their movie nights soon after they ended their project as the Heel siblings. He said he missed her company, but in truth she thought he said so for her sake since she had begun crying on the end of the job, and as the perfect gentleman he offered her a solution, saving her face.

At first they had tried meeting for a movie at the theatre's, but they both ended up recognized too many times, no matter where they went. Then they tried dinners, but restaurants were the same. In the end it came down to Ren's place. Kyouko had argued the point that it would seem wrong to outsiders. It had taken quite the convincing on Ren's part before she actually agreed to coming to his place on a weekly basis.

She walked up to him with a big smile and offered her greetings. He smiled back and offered his arm which she accepted without protest. A small blush creeped up her cheeks as she can feel his body heat emit through his clothes. The close contact that he always inituated made her feel strangely comfortable at the same time as it excited her. She tried to wave it off as normal reaction to closeness, but her excuse had crashed as she did not feel the same with any other person, not even Kanae.

Now she had tucked the reaction under the category attraction, which seemed plausible considering his looks were well known around the country. Not even she could deny the perfect body he had, not that she would want to, especially as she saw him as perfect in every way apart from the ability of taking care of that perfect body of his.

Instead she approached that idea and often used him as model for her dolls which had now reached a level of as close to perfection possible without actually seeing his while body.

Shaking off her thoughts she tightened her grip on the man next to her. If he noticed he did not show it. He lead the way to his car and chatting animately he drove them home.

A few weeks into their new habit, he begun buying groceries the day before, after having studied her technique, as he called it. She went straight to work in the kitchen while he set up the table in the living room. When he was finished he joined her in the kitchen in what he could. He had actually learned close to everything connected to cutting, though he was still painfully slow.

While she wooked the vegetables he cut she begun talking about work which was a common subject while together these evenings. She told him about her new offers and explained her character Ai and together they brainstormed for a creation in preparation for Ai's birth. It did not happen that night, but Kyouko had already taken a liking to the girl, played around cruely by fate.

They finished cooking and got ready in front of the TV. Sweating slightly, Kyouko noticed the candles and pillows, the nice set of china and the single flower in a graceful vase which Ren had prepared while she was in the kitchen.

"What's the occasion?" she joked glacing at the man who shrugged and showed her to her seat.

"I was just in the mood for some coziness", he admitted and joined her in the sofa after inserting the movie they chose.

During the film they do not speak, but he put his arm around her and pulled her close. Her heart rate increased and she suddenly found breathing a difficult task enough to be unable to concentrate on the movie. Beside her Ren seemed to be at a complete ease and she banned herself for her stupid reaction.

After some time she relearned how to breath and was finally able to watch the movie when he started stroking her arm. Her skin become heated and she fought the instinct to cuddle upp against his chest.

Her whole figure became ridgid as she could no longer remain in the same relaxed state. He drew his eyes from the screen to raise an eyebrow at her. His whole face was so entirely much too close for her to act normal, she didn't even realize he shifted his whole body and stretched his neck to whisper in her ear:

"Are you uncomfortable?"

The air sent chills down her neck and goosebumps formed on her arms. She could smell him and the feeling was so intoxicating she unconsciously closed her eyes and leaned in. When her nose met skin she drew a deep breath and nuzzled in, letting her hands touch his stomach. They gripped his shirt tightly which forced the material to slide out from the perfect way it was tucked in in his pants.

She could feel his arms on her back when she shifted to face him. They tightened around her body as her right hand stroked his stomach under his shirt. Feeling his lean muscles she followed every line on his skin. She could feel him shiver as she reach the lining of his pants.

"What are you doing, Kyouko?" Ren asked in a shaky voice.

When he spoke his chest rumbled and she smiled at the soft voice, until she actually heared what he said and reality came crashing down on her. Her mind raced for an excuse to her beyond idiotic and truly unfitting behaviour while her body was struck still and she could not move.

"Taking comfort in a friend", she answered quietly against his chest while slowely slipping her hand out from under his shirt.

He exhaled shakily and stroked her over her back. He did not try to push her away and for that she was grateful.

"Is that so?" he whispered quietly.

She couldn't say if he bought her explanation but instead of moving away from her, he pulled her tighter to himself and shifted so he instead lay flat on his back on the coach with her on his stomach. Her face was beat red and was thankful for the dark lighting. Like this she could feel his entire body pressed against her.

Her body was rigid but she knew that as soon as she relaxed she would stand for the choice of eaither spread her legs and almost straddle him in a very unnatural position or have one of her legs between his.

"What's the matter? Did something happen?" he asked in a worried voice.

Again she could feel his chest rumble, making her feel at such ease. His hand was stroking her back and after a while she rose her head to meet his intense gaze. Her breath hitched as his eyes were filled with so much emotion she could barely meet them.

"It's nothing, really", she said and exhaled deeply, not really a sigh. "I just missed our closeness", she continued, suddenly realizing it was just that.

Even though they were no longer in a brother-sister relationship she still wanted to touch him, though the whole attraction problem, which she deduced it as, caused her nervousness, fending him off. It was true, he had barely touched her at all since they ended their job together, until today, and just now she understood the loss of it.

He sighed and a sudden fear of rejection flitted through he body making her flinch. He noticed and smiled a reasuring smile without making any kind of change in his demeanor.

"That is fine then, I just wished you had told me earlier so you would not have had to feel so alone."

"I didn't realize until just now", she answered hurridly with a huge smile plastered on her face, completely missing his twitch at her blatant words.

"Well, that's good, I suppose", he replied.

He shifted slightly and immedeatly she started moving off of him, but he grabbed her by the waist and kept her intact.

"Aren't I heavy?" she asked in worried voice, still trying to shift her bodyweight slightly to the side.

"No, and weren't you the one who wanted bodycontact?" he asked teasingly and laughed as her red face went even redder. "I just needed to move my upper body a little or I won't see the screen, though I doubt I'll get much now that we've missed this much..." he continued and turn his attention to the screen again.

"I'm sorry", she said and reached for the remote to play it back.

"It's fine, it wasn't as great as they said. The lead is awkward with his movements, as if he forcing himself or something."

They chatted on without watching more of the movie, and she managed to slip by his suspicion for not knowing enough of the movie after watching almost a full hour of it. When the credits rolled they decided to make a night of it and as usual when the time ran late Kyouko decided to stay over. She borrowed a big shirt to sleep in and went to his guest room.

"Sure you don't want to sleep in my bed?" Ren asked, but as she had her back to him, she missed the joke and turned into stone.

When she heared him laughing she turned around and started scolding him for improper behaviour while he cheeks flamed red. Without letting him answer, she wished him goodnight in rude manners and slammed the door shut. Inside she took a few calming breaths before changing into his shirt which smelled like him, jumped into bed and turned the lights off.

Just as she started to relax, she remembered her make-up and her unbrushed teeth. Disappointed she rose again and went out to the bathroom in the hallway. Without noticing the small note 'occupied' she slammed the door open and met two surprised eyes staring at her.

Ren stood in front of the sink with toothbrush in mouth as Kyouko opened the door and froze in the doorway.

"If you were so lonely, you could've accepted, you know", he teased as he cheeks flushed a crimson red.

"Sorry to disturb, I didn't notice the sign", she said as she backed out. "I'll come back when you're done."

"Don't be riddiculus, just brush your teeth already", he said and offered her a spot in front of him as the mirror was very slim.

She hesitated for a moment, but thought it was only natural. She could snuggle up against his body and grope his stomach but not brush her teeth in the same room as the man? No joking around! A determined look on her face she picked up her toothbrush she left there for these types of sleepovers and quickly applied the toothpaste and started brushing, very much aware of the man behind her.

To handle the situation she let a little bit of Setsu enter her mind and suddenly she could relax easily. Ren, unaware of the change, acted as if he didn't even see her and continued to brush his teeth just like normal. Growing angry for being ignored by her brother, she decided to play a little to see if she could get his attention.

She carefully leaned back against him and let her unoccupied hand fall to her side and finger a little against his leg. According to plan, he looked down on her with a surprised look, but she wanted to play more and looked straight ahead as if nothing happened. He looked up again and continue brushing.

As he didn't say anything, she press her butt against him and almost missed the small sound coming from deep down his throat. Not showing her satisfaction for the response she slid her hand to his inner thigh and caressed his skin through the thin pjamamaterial. Against her back she could feel him tremble before stepping back, around her and spit in the sink.

"Good night, Kyouko", he said after washing his toothbrush and mouth.

He caressed her cheek and went for his room when Kyouko grabbed his arm. Without noticing Setsu took over completely and pulling herself close to him she whispered against his bare back:

"Actually, I'd really like to sleep with you tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

_"Actually, I'd really like to sleep with you tonight."_

When Ren turned around to look down on the short girl behind him, there was this look in his eyes, as if he could devour her right then and there. It almost smuthered her and a shiver ran down her spine. Grasping for the thin thread keeping her from running away with tail between her legs, she smiled up at him in an as confident way she could muster.

Suddenly his face was very close to hers and she had trouble breathing. It was highly uncomfortable since it felt as she would trool on him soon if he didn't back off, but Setsu would not allow her to think that way. She picked her tooth brush out of her mouth and brushed his nose with it. Just one, short stroke, more like a dab than anything.

It seemed to have worked since he cringed away slightly, but when she smiled triumphantly a dark look entered his eyes. He grabbed her tooth brush and inserted it in his own mouth while she just baffled looked at him. Brushing his teeth in a slow sensual way, letting her watch in wonder as he locked eyes with her without ever letting go.

"If there was anything I missed you should have said so", he said with a straight face, spit in the sink and turned to her with a mischievous smile. "I really wouldn't have minded."

He leaned down, breathed on her, almost making her jump out of her skin, before smiling broadly, showing off his teeth. Somehow they looked so inviting and she almost leaned in to lick them before catching herself. Instead she pat him on the cheek, her fingers tingling at the sensation. Rounding him to spit the big white lump of tooth paste in the sink also, he graced her head, as if he wanted to ruffle her hair but changed his mind. Instead he disappeared out of the bathroom while she watched him in the mirror.

Outside Ren leaned against the wall and breathed heavily. _What was that?_ She acted so playfully but everytime I played along she froze in place. What is she trying to pull off? And the way her body pressed against him, a second more of that and she would have tuly felt he was a man indeed. No matter how he had tried to shake her off, she continued to tempt him.

_"Actually, I'd really like to sleep with you tonight."_ Did she mean that? A picture of her sleeping face, dressed in nothing more than his t-shirt entered his mind, causing him to close his eyes.

He could hear the water being turned off and hastily went for his bedroom before she noticed him and started asking questions. The lights were turned off already, only letting in the cold moon light, creating all sorts of odd shadows in the room. He dumped himself on the bed and breathed deeply, trying to regain control. He groaned inwardly as he remembered how she snuggled close to him while letting her hands explore his body, much like he wanted to do with her.

As he heared silent footsteps he froze panickstricken. She was serious! The door handle creaked slightly as it was slowly pulled down and the door swung up, letting the light from the hallway into the room as she tip-toed in and closed behind her.

She stood still without moving or making any kind of sound. He was curious as to what she was doing, but didn't look around.

"Ne, what are you doing? Aren't you going to sleep _in_ the bed?" she asked after what felt like forever.

He shifted so that he could see her, tried not to follow her hands' movements as they smoothed out the shirt, down her body to grasp slightly at the lining. She stood balancing on one foot while the other scrathed her ankle slightly. He thought the position rather odd, coming from Kyouko, but brushed it off as nothing. Instead he muttered irritably and crawled in under the blankets.

When he heared a sound that did not come from him he stilled. The rustle from the bed continued and he realized she had joined him. He rolled around to find her face only inches away from his own. He became very aware of his hands as he tried to stop them from grabbing her.

She however seemed completely comfortable with him being this close, and again he found himself wondering if she really saw him as a man. They had moved on to a relationship between two friends, finally removing him from the ever damned senpai-role she had forced on him. Though still, she had yet to acknowledge any type of romatic feelings, almost sending him right back to despair.

Then this happened. It was true he had seen slight changes in her behaviour lately, like how she would accept lunch invitations without complaint even other days than their decided movie fridays, how she would invite him to stay when he dropped her off, and even more subtle things like how her dressing changed to a more challenging style. He kept close tabs on her relationship with other men, and was pleased to see that she never accepted dates from any other man.

Yet, all these things could be coincidences or a natural development between friends. He had never seen her turn down Kanae, sometimes at his own expense, and dressing up was normal for girls. His manager, Yashiro Yukihito, had pushed him to believe it was all for his sake, while teasing him endlessly, of course, but since when could you trust that man, Ren thought devastated.

He was now in the situation where the girl he loved was sleeping in his bed, inches away from him, all under the pretence of friendship. It was hard to accept and even harder to live by. He was forced to re-evaluate his situation when she suddenly scooched closer and wrapped herself around him like a koala clinging to a tree.

With his heart beating like crazy, he silently wondered if she was deliberately torturing or if she had actually realized her feelings and was trying to tell him with her body. But then why would she keep freeze up? Also, it didn't seem like Kyouko to hide away what she was thinking, she would usually blurt it out, no matter to whom and how painful it was. Of course, if it was unconnected to love, she was very bright and would realize she said something hurtful and appologize prefusely.

"Nii-chan, would you just relax?" he heard Kyouko mumble in his chest.

He felt his heart drop down to his toes as he realized she was playing the role of Setsuka, Cain's sister from the time where he had to work on a film as Actor X to keep his name in the , why would she seep into that role now? They had been friends for a year by now, she should feel comfortable enough to... sleep in his bed? No wonder she reverted to Setsu. She was way too modest to be herself under these circumstances. But that didn't answer the question as to why she would put herself in this situation if she did not want this.

As he realized he had let his mind wander from the issue at hand, he sat up and ripped the sheets away from them. Kyouko, or Setsu, whimpered at the loss of heat when he forced her arms away from around him. He clasped her wrists in his hands and pushed her on her back, hovering dangerously above her, hoping to inflict enough fear for her to revert back to Kyouko.

"Kyouko, I'm not your brother, nor are you Setsu. We quit those roles ages ago", he said to her, dead serious. "I'm just Ren, you're Kyouko, we are friends. You chose to sleep in my bed together with me, but I will not tolerate it if you are going to play a role for fear of close proximity. In that case it would be better if you slept in your own bed until you're ready."

Her eyes were big and frightful, filled with unshed tears. He could see her shivering and felt bad, but at the same time this promting he needed to do this, to say this, or she would never understand. When she finally nodded, he slumped back in the bed beside her, letting go of his harsh grip and she immediately moved away from him, holding her arms around her as if protecting herself.

He pulled the blankets back over him and turned around, trying to ignore the girl behind him and the beating conscience kicking him in the stomach and gripping at his heart. He couldn't hear what she was doing, couldn't sense her moving out, but was sure she would leave as soon as she could. Therefore, he was shocked when he felt her arms wrap around him again. Her petite frame pressed to him he could feel her breasts push against his back, her hands clasp together low on his stomach and her legs tangle with his.

"I'm sorry, Ren. I didn't realize my need to act for me to be able to be close to you would hurt you. I'm so stupid", she whispered, sending shockwaves over his skin that her breath touched. "I'll never do that again, so please let me stay."

How could he deny her something when she asked this way? He didn't see her face but it was obvious she was on the verge of tears. With multiple feelings all mixed together in a confusing stack of guilt, compassion, lust and love, he grabbed her hands, brought them to his lips and kissed them gently.

"Always, that's what friends are for, right?" he said and cursed his cowardly self.

If possible she cuddled even closer, sighed and closed her eyes. Ren could soon hear her even breathing and realized she fell alseep, still with her arms locked around him in an iron grip. He tried to relax, closed his eyes and tried to think of peaceful things like happy days in his childhood, visits to the sea, campings in forests. His mind wondered to his parents, on to acting, days on set, to Kyouko. The day he met her a second time in life, her smile, how he longed to touch her, kiss her, make her moan and writhe underneath him...

It wasn't until early in the morning around four am his exhausted mind finally gave up and let him draft in to dreamland and fall asleep.

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! :) Will probably update tomorrow. If you see any errors plz let me know. Reveiws are always welcomed. Thank you Jhiz and the other two who reviewed without name. I don't have a spell check nor anyone to proofread, but I try to check carefully before updating, I know there are some mistakes, though. See ya!**


	3. Chapter 3

Somewhere far off in a distant world an annoying beeping was wooshing through the layers of dreams, reaching our young heroine first after it had reached a considerate volume. Streching an arm out from the warm cozy lump of two bodies hidden under a blanket in a dark room, she searched for her cell phone in a desperate attempt to kill the rude sound, disturbing her sleep. Grabbing the distinct object ringing as if its life depended on it, Kyouko puched the green button to stop her body from joining its impetuous vibrating, and pulled the phone to her ear.

"Good morning", she greeted drowsily and winced at Kanae's angry voice.

"Don't 'good morning' me! Where are you?" she demanded with not so held back irritation sounding through the phone. Kanae had never been one to sugar coat things.

Kyouko scanned her surroundings, slowly recalling the previous night, her desperate need for closeness and Ren's ever patience. Looking to her side she saw his beautifully sleeping face, holding on to her figure as a five year old to a teddy bear. The cutest of smiles decorating her face, she stroked his cheek, something she would not have dared to do a year earlier. Before losing herself in the moment she turned away from the sleeping god beside her and returned her attention back to her friend who had been screaming at her for quite some time while she reorientated herself.

"I'm at Ren's", she whispered in the phone and carefully slipped out from his grip on her.

Blushing, she realized her night gown, if it could be called such, had slid up her body and almost exposed her entire torso while sleeping. Quickly pulling it down again, she slipped out of bed and pattered across the room to the door, pulled it open and slipped out before closing it. Still with her ear pressed against her cell phone she continued her trip to the guest room in order to find som clothes.

"Wha... Why would you be at Ren's?" Kanae asked, completely off guard. "And why are we whispering?" she added hissing, remembering her anger.

"Because I didn't want to wake him when he was sleeping so peacefully", Kyouko answered but avoided the question as to why she would be there in the first place. Her best friend should already be aware of her movie Fridays with Ren.

"How would you know he was sleeping peacefully? Did you sleep with him?" she asked, now suspicous but more teasing than serious.

"Er... well, sort of", Kyouko said embarrassed.

"YOU WHAT?" Kanae screamed in her ear, forcing her to pull the phone from her ear.

Beet red from the situation and slightly angry at her friend for almost blowing out her ears, she hushed her friend before explaining.

"I didn't have _sex_ with him, I just _slept_ with him. You know, the normal, snoring, relaxing, drooling, rolling around and dreaming sort of sleep."

After a few minutes of cooling down from the embarrassed high, yelling at her friend for causing her to misunderstand and joking at her for being the only girl in the world not taking advantage of the sexiest man in Japan when sleeping in the same bed, Kanae moved on to the reason for calling so early a Saturday morning.

"We were supposed to be on a date today, remember? An only girl day with just shopping, gossip, eating ice cream and all other horrible stuff you always wanted to do but couldn't since you were always bullied by other girls all the way from kindergarten", Kanae reminded her, in the process bringing up quite a few unpleasant memories, possibly to stop Kyouko from going into faerie kingdom.

She failed however. Kyouko immediately forgot to pout over her friend's evil teasing about her innocence, especially considering Kanae would not have done it herself. She even missed to take notice of the reminder of her sad past and went straight into happy mode and started gushing about her BFF being the best in the world.

"Oi! Did you want to wake your Prince Charming or not?" Kanae reminded her and frowned at her immediate response that he was not her Prince Charming or anything, just a good friend who happened to be there when she felt a little lonely.

Noticing her choice of words, curiosity flooded her mind and she became slightly worried about her friend. Deciding to let her explain everything when they met up, she said her good byes and hung up, a little sad at the thought of her friend leaving her with Chidori alone in the LoveMe section.

Kyouko, on the other hand, had no such thoughts on her mind as she slid the phone shut, grabbed her things and entered the bathroom. Planning on taking a short shower before leaving for her date she borrowed some hygene articles from Ren. Blushing deeply as her mind fleeted to the man whose smell she danced in while standing completely naked, she rubbed in schampoo in her hair and shower gel on her body all the while drawing deep breaths through her nose. For some reason the smell made her delusional and pictures of his angelic face asleep only a breath away from hers entered her mind when she closed her eyes.

Feeling her own heated skin, she rushed to turn the water off, grabbed a big frotte towel from the shelf by the door and wrapped herself in it to avoid the ever present cold after a shower. Seeing herself in the foggy mirror she noticed her red cheeks and looked away. Thinking for a moment she stretched her arm out and grabbed a deodorant she found mixed with shaving cream and perfume. _I'm sure he won't mind_, she thought nervously.

Her clothes didn't feel great on her newly showered body, being used already, especially her undergarment, but she ignored this and put the clothes on as fast as she could, suddenly feeling the need to leave quickly before Ren woke up. Not really understanding why the need to rush she still just drew a comb through her hair and left to pick up her stuff from the guest room. Not having brought much, since she came directly from work yesterday, she proceeded to write a short note to Ren and then stepped out the door and left.

~ She saw Kanae stand outside a small café named Café à la Soleil, a small sweet coffeeshop, oddly empty, then again it was Saturday morning in March with a temperature below 10°C. Everything else became of no importance as she rushed to greet her friend. Had it been anyone else she would have bowed down in a dogeza for her late arrival, instead she was satisfied with jumping at her friend in a bone breaking hug with tears streaming down her face while rambling apologies.

"Mo! It's enough already", Kanae grumbled, in secret very happy at her friend's sincerity and affection.

When Kyouko finally clamed down and dried her tears they walked into the café and ordered a big breakfast for Kyouko and one cup black coffee for Kanae. While watching her friend consume the breakfast at a rapid speed with a face of complete bliss, Kanae sipped on her drink and thought of everything that had happened during the last year.

Her schedule had been steadily increasing with PVs, TV commercials, guest appearances in dramas, small roles in movies and som model jobs even though it was not really her section. She was still in LoveMe among with Kyouko and Chidori, but she had made lots of connections and her name was already known among some big directors. It shouldn't be surprising to finally get a bigger role. However, this would be her first time playing a lead, in a movie no less, and she was almost shivering in anticipation. Her only worry was the casting which she had not yet told Kyouko about.

Somehow it was unnerving, seeing how her friend had always been the one to gush over Tsuruga-san's fantastic acting abilities. The butterflies in her stomach and her shaky hands were proof of how nervous she was to be playing against such a man that had taken the country by storm in just four petty years. Yet when she faced Kyouko she seemed unable to tell her. Perhaps it was fear her friend wouldn't understand, or maybe it was fear that it she would fail. It didn't help that the two were already in a relationship close enough to be sleeping together, she thought, smiling grimly at the misinterpretable words.

Unable to sort out her feelings she decided to leave the subject for the moment and concentrated on Kyouko's facial features, to look if something changed. She looked relaxed and happy, much like she always did when she was together with Kanae. She couldn't discover anything out of the ordinary, except maybe her extreme hunger. What she had noticed already when she met up with her was the smell. She smelled like a man, and Kanae didn't really know what to do with that piece of information.

When Kyouko finally finished her plate she looked up at Kanae and smiled so happily it was almost blinding. Squinting her eyes to see she tried to look for a switch to turn the incredible light off.

"Are you alright, Moko-san?" Kyouko asked surprised at her odd behaviour.

"Mo! Stop smiling and tell me what happened at Tsuruga-san's instead!" she snapped furiously.

That sure shut her up as she froze in a dreadful pose. Snapping her fingers in front of the dazed girl's face, she silently wondered what caused that reaction. Not getting much of a response she moved on to pinching her nose, pulling lightly in strands of hair and tickling her under her shin, before Kyouko finally clicked back to reality.

"Aurgh!" was the sound coming from her lips as she re-assessed her behaviour previous day.

_Kami-sama! How could I have acted so impromper and out of place? Even though he is now a precious friend I still stepped over the boundary. He's going to think I'm just one of those fan-girls with no intention but marvel at his looks_, Kyouko thought moritified and sunk her face in her hands.

She liked to think of herself as someone that meant something to Ren, someone that understood him a little better than everyone else around him, but she knew this was presumptious of her. Though sometimes, when he smiled at her, that smile which caused her grudges to hide in fear of melting, she could feel her heart flutter. She had not seen him smile that way to anyone else besides Itsumi Momose, which had been under an act, and herself.

That smile, now much later, had made her realize that maybe she actually did know him a bit more. She had seen sides of him she did not think anyone but herself had seen. His sleeping face in the morning, his grumpy face before coffee in the morning, his mischievous smile when he teased her, his dark look filled with... what was that look, really? She had seen glimpses of it during her work as Setsu, but more and more often she had discovered him watching her with that look even when she was just her. It might be described as lust, but Kyouko didn't think it fit the explanation since he had his eyes directed at her.

A more fitting explanation would be pity, but she didn't like that explanation either. It certainly didn't fit in a drama like Dark Moon where a man observed his love interest, but also her ego would be terribly hurt should that be the case. Not that she was egoistic, but contsantly being pitied was something she would not accept.

No longer did she think of herself as plain and boring, she had realized she could not have pulled of characters like Natsu and get the expected response if no one found her the least bit attractive. What she had concluded was that most of it was connected to the feeling going along with it and the applied confidence and a heck of a lot of make-up. This was also why she knew that attraction could not be the answer to what the dark look was.

She did not have the longing to seduce, nor did she feel confident enough to think she could tempt anyone. Wearing masks she was good at. During her time in the entertainment industry she had had much success, she was aware of that, especially since new members of LME had come up to her calling her senpai, asking to be taught by her. Her face was known as the Clay Figure in fans' mouths, since she seemed completely different in each appearance she made.

However famous she became, though, she knew her limitations. She could not love, which forced her away from every romance tingling creation there was, she also could not be herself since the whole world would then see how truly insignificant she was. She just preyed her co-workers would continue to bear with her. She was glad to know Otou-san could be proud of her for reaching such a high level in the two years of time she had been in the industry, and not lose herself along the way.

Thinking she had instead created a new self, as had been her goal from almost the very beginning, she could smile. This was not her issue at the moment, she suddenly remembered. Finally noticing her friend's eager tries to bring her back to the present.

"Aurgh?" Kanae asked with a crooked eye brow, almost satisfied now that her friend had landed on Earth again.

After some intense explanation, leaving out only what she felt was confidencial, such things like the bath room incident, she waited for Kanae to come up with a reply. It did not seem to be an easy struggle for the raven haired girl as her mind kept making short cicuits whenever she reached the point where she imagined Kyouko and Ren in the same bed, wrapped together like two magnets of opposite polars.

"You do realize that if you ever tell anyone, anyone but me, about this, they will assume you are now a couple?" Kanae said and looked seriously at the girl at the other side of the table.

"I wasn't planning on telling anyone...", she mumbled with red creeping up her cheeks. "Anyone but you, of course!" she exclaimed quickly when she thought Kanae might misinterpret. "I would tell you anything."

"Of course you would", she answered, took a sip of her coffee and put down with a grimace at the now cold liquid. "What I'm intersted in is where you plan on taking this. Do you intend to become his girlfriend" she asked bluntly and smiled wryly at Kyouko's beet red face.

"No! Why would you even think that? I've sworn off love, you know that. I couldn't love, even if I wanted to", she almost screamed, drawing quite the attention from other customers, and looked down when she saw Kanae's furious face, always afraid of peoples' opinions.

"I know that, we're forever doomed to stay in LoveMe, huh?"

She glared at Kyouko as she tried to object to Kanae's joined fate of despair. She knew Kyouko thought she would leave soon since she was some sort of princess, cursed by an evil power and would only be set free when a prince came and rescued her, or possibly when she ripped herself free from her boundaries. It wasn't the kindness or the high thoughts Kyouko had about her, but how she kept dragging everyone around her into some weird faerie tale, that freaked her out. It just wasn't in her nature to believe in magic.

As long as Kyouko kept the good natured and caring way that she always had, she knew that she would always love the weird little red head. She only wished she would keep the crazed antics to a minimum, at least in her presence.

"Anyway, if we want to have time for that shopping trip, we had better leave", she said and pulled out some bills to pay the check.

"Un", Kyouko answered and did the same. "First I want to go to the store across the street and buy Moko-san a present!"

Her face blanched as she stole a glance at the combined jewlery and dress store with big pink neon signs blinking eagerly at them. How she could have missed it on the way there, she would never know, nor what it was doing there in the midst of Tokyo's hectic streets filled with nothing but big chain stores. Feeling her stomach contradict at the thought of entering the cursed butique, she turned to a smiling Kyouko and vigourously shook her head.

**Thanks a lot for the reviews! A few of you noted on uncharacteristic behaviour, and it might be so, but I think it would be odd if nothing has changed in an entire year. Hope you enjoyed. :) Until next time...**


	4. Chapter 4

Four days later, Kyouko was rushing through the corridores of LME with Sawara Takenori on the phone. Her face was flushed as she tried to hold on to a big box with costumes, a script that kept sliding through her hands and at the the same time keep her phone connected to her ear and listen to Takenori whose earnest voice kept on calling her attention back to him.

"It's fine if you want to go to school, but I'm saying next week you need to start taking lessons in wrestling for your new drama", Takenori explained exasperated.

"I didn't hear anything about such lessons and-", Kyouko began and cursed when the box fell from her loosened grip, and landed open on the floor.

Eyeing out the suspicious piece of material she gasped at the content when she pulled it out, revealing a beautiful dress from the early 14th century. Automatically entering a world where the queen wearing the dress lived, she soon had the whole story behind the extravagant dress visualized. She had tears in her eyes as she grieved the poor thing's destiny to die before her time when her husband had died a heroical death on the battlefield of a magnificant war in the name of freeing a captured innocent people from cruel slavery.

She was completely absorbed in admiring the soft yet strong material, wondering how someone could have stuffed it down so carelessly in a box, and folding it nicely before putting it back, that she completely missed Takenori's reply.

"Hello? Mogami-kun? Are you there? Moga-" he called when he heard her distant voice, clearly occupied with something else, while still intruding on his busy time.

"As I said, I didn't hear anything about any close combat lessons-" she answered when she finally managed to get the box together and could continue her busy trip to the storage room in the far down basement to return the costume to where it came from.

She would never really understand how the President, Takarada Lory, could have all these things just tucked away, as if he already knew that they would somehow, in a distant future, be used. Not that he didn't take every chance to dress up, which he did, but it was still beyond her how he could even get a hold of these things, further more afford them. Shouldn't he use the money to try and promote his company instead of playing dress-up with his staff?

Shaking her thoughts off, she returned to the present just in time to hear the end of Takenori's explanation of the difference between close combat training and wrestling. Furrowing her eye brows at his surprising knowledge on the subject, she sighed and continued to argue her point.

"But with my guest appearance in _Witch Hunt _tomorrow, my work at _Box R, _LoveMe and the filming with _Racing Through Time _that will begin next week I'll barely have time to go to school once a week!" she said frustrated.

"Well then you will just have to decline the offer", Takenori said threatening and Kyouko stiffled when she heard the distinct sound of papers rustling through the phone.

"No, no, no! I'm so sorry to trouble you. Of course I'll go to the wrestling lessons", she almost screamed and bowed deeply to the man even though he couldn't see her.

"That is better. Now then, I'll send you the adress and times to your mail as soon as I can. Do not forget your read through of _Racing Through Time _at three today", he said and was just about to hang up when Kyouko's surprised exclamation reached his ears.

"Eeeh? I thought the meeting was supposed to be held at ten am. I'm sure that's what it said in the mail you sent me two days ago...", she said and rustling was heard as she tried to check her script where she had written the details down.

"Yes, that is true, but it was postponed. I thought I had informed you... Oh, well, now you know. Have a nice day", he said and hung up before he would have to experience one of her famous fits where he would suddenly find himself completely immobilized.

Grumbling at the unnecessary stress she had caused herself, she finally reached the basement and dropped off the box on a shelf labeled _14th century_. She left the room at a considerably slower pace than she had arrived at, feeling astonished at the many accessories she had only caught a glimpse of next to the now abandoned dress.

The time she had at her hands had increased knowing she now had another five hours at her disposal. She couldn't go to school since she had already informed them she would be absent due to a meeting. Showing up now would be awkward. She had already done all the homework they had been given, so that was no good either. The only thing she could come up with was LoveMe work, but it did not seem tempting to wonder around aimlessly while waiting for someone to grab her by the arm to give her a new job.

In the end she did just that. She had tried calling Kanae to see if she also happened to be free, which was highly naïve of her, considering both of their growing work load. She wasn't. Apparantly she had her first meeting with the cast of her new movie _Looking for Ever Love _and would be busy with a bit role she was doing in a drama after that.

She fingered slightly on the button to Ren's name, but flipped the phone shut instead, unable to call her friend after the embarrassing encounter last time. She had called him and left an apology for leaving before he awoke in addition to the note that she had left. He had not called back, and she did not look forward to meeting him next time. Or so she thought, but under the feelings of cowardly fear, she still longed to see him.

It was always like this. They would see each other on Friday and everything was fine, but as they parted, the week would suddenly feel entirely too long and she couldn't help but call him every night, just to hear his voice. So far he had not said anything about it, and sometimes when she did not call, he had mailed her, but she still felt as if she imposed on his time. After all, they did have a set meeting time. Maybe he thought of her as childish and greedy not being able to wait until they would see each other next time.

Deep in thought she almost missed the bit of pink passing the deep end of the corridor.

"Moko-san!" she screamed and rushed after the girl.

Kanae heard the happy squealing of her friend and ducked when she sensed the girl coming closer. Kyouko did an involuntary somersault over her and landed on the ground in an indistinct lump of pink. Feeling her heart jump up in her throat Kanae gently poked the seemingly out cold girl.

Almost laughing from relief when she suddenly groaned quietly and twisted a little in a half hearted attempt to rise.

"Don't scare me like that!" she screamed at her when she opened her eyes.

Smiling brightly at the worried voice and caring look in her eyes, Kyouko again tried to hug her friend who this time obliged before catching herself and quickly rose, looking highly offended.

"Good morning", a deep voice suddenly greeted them and both girls turned to the extremely tall man accompanied by the shorter manager Yashiro Yukihito.

Kyouko smiled from the depths of her heart but then remembered how she left things and felt life leave her and her face blanch.

"G-good morning, Tsuruga-san", she said and bowed, unconsciously reverting back to the formal way she used to adress him by.

"And here I was, thinking we had left such formalities", Ren said with a glittery smile. "Especially since we have now shared the same bed and everything."

His smile was dangerously bright, sending Kyouko into the depts of despair while Yukihito snapped to look at Ren with this giddy and extremely creepy smile on his face.

"I'm so sorry!" Kyouko shouted, whether she left out his name on purpose or not.

"It's fine, I suppose if that's how you like it..." Ren said, actually confident enough to play on her willingness to keep their way of adressing each other by their given name, although fake in Ren's case.

"No! I mean, of course if you no longer want to..."

"I'm kidding, Kyouko. Please continue to call me Ren", said Ren and sighed inwardly. Knowing her he should have known there was no way she would think he was actually more desperate than her to keep their informalities.

To stop his manager from embarrassing him by saying something stupid conducted by his deliberate cryptic words, which he obvisouly already had misunderstood and thereby since long entered fan-girl mode, he left the subject for later. He would have to do some serious damage-check on the girl who owned his heart.

"Kotonami-san, are you ready to go?" he asked the LoveMe section's member nr two who had been following the drama with suspicious eyes, leaving Ren to wonder if Kyouko had not told her friend of their little get together.

Kanae snapped out of her investigating state and stared up at the super star who smiled down at her. This was bad. She could feel Kyouko's confused eyes at her and she wished she had already told her about her acting together with Ren.

"Y..ye..ah", she stuttered stifly without looking at Kyouko. "I'll see you later", she said to her and started walking up to the meeting room without looking back to see if Ren followed.

The man in question stayed behind a second to say a few words to the dejected looking girl. Amazed at her ability to express so much without saying a word he drew her attetion by clearing his throat.

"Actually, Kyouko, I was wondering if maybe I could take you out to lunch today after the meeting", he said when she finally turned to look at him.

He felt his heart sink as she looked at him as if he invited her to her own execution. Contemplating whether it would work out or not, he sighed which she flinched at, thinking he had given up on her and decided to break up his friendship with her. Carefully, without moving too fast, he raised his hand, smiled a sad smile at her cowering figure, and slowley stroked her cheek. He could feel her flinch but still brought his lips to her forhead and planted the lightest of kisses on her skin.

"Wait for me, will you? I'll be done in an hour. I'll come and pick you up and then you can pick a place you like.

Feeling numb she nodded and he left. He turned around twice and smiled his true, brilliant smile at her. She could feel a warm, tingling sensation flutter somewhere inside her chest bringing her hands to grip together tightly just above her heart.

_It wasn't... No, it couldn't be... She couldn't love anymore. Not even him who made her smile and laugh. Not even him who had sworn to never leave her, and had kept his promise. Not even him who help her whenever she needed him, and scolded her when she did something wrong. No, not even him who made her heart ache whenever he was close, and had her longing to see him again whenever he left..._

**I was planning on making it longer and include their lunch, but I decided to put it in a chapter by itself. I hope you enjoyed!**


	5. Chapter 5

_"Actually, Kyouko, I was wondering if maybe I could take you out to lunch today after the meeting", he said when she finally turned to look at him._

The past hour had felt like a full eternity as she didn't know what to do. She strolled around the building almost wishing someone would find her and scold her for not doing anything of use, if only to drag her out of the depressing state her mind had wandered to. No one did, they were to afraid to come close to the pink creature surrounded in an aura dark as the deepest pits of hell.

Her demonic grudges were busy trying to figure out a way to yet again drag Ren's own evil Dark Lord out to bath in his hatred, while the angels desperately tried to convince her he was not really angry at her, but at something else and should try discovering what that something was instead of cowering in fear.

Kyouko listened to neither as she kept wobbling around, drowning in gloom. She had been doing so for the past hour or so and was therefore so deeply burried in her feelings she did not notice when the source of her worries caught sight of her and stalked over. Bending down only inches away from her ear he whispered a quiet greeting to her, sending chills down her spine.

"Waiting for me?"

She jumped in the air trying to catch her breath as her heart mimicked her body's reaction. Her cheeks flushed when she looked up at the man, smiling as if without a care in the world, offered her his arm. No matter how angry he was at her he still acted normally. Her evil sensing antenna had not gone off, sending her into a state of uncertainty. Maybe he wasn't angry...

She took his arm with both her hands, happy yet again for his sweet ways of showing her the affection she had missed. Thinking she would like to thank him somehow her mind set of running in trying to figure something out he liked. Blacklisting everything connected to food since he wouldn't want it, thinking films were too ordinary and probably work related to the actor, scratching everything that involved showing his face in the public, she was left with nothing. Devastated at the thought that he would probably enjoy her absence more than anything, entering her mind, she bit her lip.

Fully occupied on her sad thoughts she did not even realize they had stopped before she felt a nudge on her shoulder. Not knowing why they had stopped she felt confused and turned her head to Ren. Looking up for him to explain, Ren motioned for the door in front of them.

"I thought you would like to change before going out", he suggested.

Relieved at his thoughtfulness she left him to change before reappearing withing seconds and they could finally leave. They walked to his car while talking about a little of this and that without mentioning what they really wanted or didn't want to discuss.

~Dismissing three of Kyouko's choice at a restaurant Ren finally accpeted one that looked like they had decent enough food without scaring the wits out the girl next to him who knew she could not afford anything too extravagant. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, but at the same time he couldn't resist spoiling her a just a little. She did not need to know that he was planning on treating her just about yet.

They walked in with caps low on their heads and were shown to a booth in the very back of the restaurant. She pulled her hat off as she sat down, but froze when Ren slid in next to her. Feeling him really close she felt the need to busy her hands and was grateful when the waitress handed her the menu. Relaxing slightly she begun eyeing the different dishes only to gulp when she felt him wrap his arm around her shoulders and grab hold of the menu as well, putting his hand over hers.

Her hands shook slightly and a big lump in her throat prevented her from swallowing. It wasn't fair how he could make her react that way by simply sitting this close to her. If it wasn't for the fact that she knew he had purely friendly intentions, she didn't know what she would think. She felt bad for all the girls that would misunderstand and thoughtlessly throw their hearts at him only to get them crushed. She looked up to him and found her eyes being drawn to his lips.

"See anything you like?" he asked causing her to flinch and hastily look back to the menu, desperate to shift her attention to something else.

They ended up ordering in Sukiyaki for the both of them on Kyouko's recommendation. It was a beef hot pot cooked in sake, mirin, soy sauce and a pinch of sugar, and came along with chinese cabbage, negi, shungiku, shiitake and enokitake. As they handed the menu back, Ren didn't retreat his arm and she smiled to herself, quietly enjoying the warmth it offered.

The smell was delicious and their mouths watered as it came in after a short wait which they spent talking about Ren's new movie. Neither mentioned Kanae, whether it was intentional or not.

"Sorry for the delay", the waitress said and smiled professionally at them before bowing and leaving them.

"Well this looks good, don't you think", Ren said gaining a suspicious look from Kyouko. "Well it does! I can still enjoy the smell of, can't I?" he defended himself with an offended look.

"Of course you can", she said and snuggled her head into his chest, completely unaware of the pain it brought to the man.

She let her fingers trace his skin over the shirt, suddenly completely entranced by the feeling of it. She listened to his heartbeat and felt safe. It was something special about this man's presensce that had such a calming effect on her. It was as if she got sucked into his chest, entered his heart and flowed through his vains. She liked the thought of that, and pressed herself even closer to him as the distance between them felt much too big.

When she felt his arm on her upper back she first whimpered in pleasure. The place where he touched her felt as if on fire and she was torn between pressing herself against his hand and cuddling closer to his chest.

Then she caught herself. _What on Earth am I doing? Entering his heart? Flowing through his veins? _Her mind raced in the effort of trying to orientate herself. What were they doing? What were they talking about? The smell of the Sukiyaki reached her nose and she breathed it in, remembering where they were.

"As long as you eat it all, too", she continued and smiled as she heard him groan.

She retreated from his embrace and hurridley said her thanks before digging in, almost as if in anger. He watched her warm face and grabbed his own chopsticks while trying to calm down. _What was that? It couldn't have been teasing, could it? She was so close... so soft. Her hair smelled so wonderful, and the way her neck was exposed between small tresses of orange hair... She stayed there willingly, I didn't have to pull her in. Just like when she slept over, she came willingly..._

Desperate to know what had happened, and equally desperate to think of something else before another member of his body he had tried to keep under controll begun acting up, he dipped his chopsticks into his food and brought it to his mouth.

It was truly delicous! He hummed as he chewed, swallowed and immediately brought another... stickfull of beef to plop into his mouth. Glancing at his commpanion he raised an eye brow as he notcied she had froze in mid-motion with her chopsticks halfway to her open mouth. Resisting the urge to laugh he quickly swallowed and asked:

"Something the matter?"

She licked her lips. For a moment he closed his eyes to avoid the temptation of her pink little tip dipping out to wipe her upper lip and then disappear into the deep void of her mouth. How he wished to follow! Mentally kicking himself he continued to look at her without pursuing his wish and was surprised when she remained silent.

"What it is?" he half-laughed, now a little worried.

"You- eh...", she began and leaned forward, stopped, and then stretched her hand out.

Taken aback he jerked away but regretted it as he saw how the movement upset her. He didn't know what to say to redeem for his mistake, nor did he know what caused her reaction.

Unsure what to do, Kyouko looked down. Her behaviour was silly. She didn't know why she hadn't just told him to wipe his chin from the bit of sauce that had trailed down from the corner of his mouth, but she had found herself absorbed in watching him eat and before she could stop herself she had bent forward to wipe it off. Then when he flinshed back, it felt as if her world crashed. She knew she was overreacting, but it didn't help in the least.

Glancing up from under her eyelashes she saw his face not even an inch away from her face, his nose almost touching hers, and jumped back in surprise.

"Gya-!" she yelled and then winced at the weird noice.

Again noticing the shiny sauce slowly sliding down his skin she halfheartedly raised her hand again, but decided to use her godgiven voice created for communication.

"You've got a little..." she mumbled.

"Hmm?" said Ren and leaned in again. "What was that?"

"You've got some sauce on your..." she tried again.

"Sauce? Where?" he asked with a complete pokerface as he had already realized what was bugging her. It didn't stop him from having a little fun, and she was apparantly a little down from his accidental rejection. "Could you wipe it off for me?" he asked, killing the teasing in his voice the threatened to surface.

Her eyes widened and a blush creeped up her cheeks, but she nodded and then carefully reached forward yet again, this time a little more confident. He leaned backwards and she hastily looked up to meet his eyes to see what he was doing. Seeing the laughter glittering in his eyes she smiled. She tried to turn it into a pout as she was forced to move even close as he kept teasing her.

"Stop that, will you? Are you some kind of cat afraid to be bathed, or what?" she asked, obviously not expecting an answer.

Ren's mind was immediately flooded with pictures of Kyouko scrubbing his skin while in a small bathtub, wearing nothing at all. His member down there twitched at his overactive imagination and he was forced to swallow hard and look away to avoid doing something irreversible.

"You can't turn away", Kyouko admonished, bringing his attention back to her.

She had given up on him, it seemed, and bent over with one of her hands tucked sternly around his chin while the other gently stroked away the, in Ren's case, since long forgotten sauce. She looked up at him, smiling and then sat back with her fingers happily waving in the air. Unable to stop himself, he took her fingers, brought them to his face and slowely licked them off.

Kyouko felt as if her head would boil over. His eyes kept hers locked in a sensual gaze, forcing her to watch him. She wanted to pull her fingers back and scream "sexual harassment", but somehow she found it impossible. Instead she stared at him under that short moment which felt like a whole lifetime before he finally smirked and let go of her hand.

"Thanks for helping me wipe it off", he said almost in a whisper.

"N-no problem", she said weakly.

They kept staring at each other. She sensed how he went through some emotional turmoil but couldn't read what he was feeling at all. Perhaps he regretted he had been so mean, and rightfully so, she huffed inwardly, but then furrowed her eye brows as she felt a tinge of sadness at the thought. It wasn't all that bad, apart from the fact that it felt as if her heart would burst and her lungs give out any second, which could be considered bad, a small grudge silently reminded her. But it wasn't really unpleasant, if she could just shake off her feelings of panic. Ren was probably the only man she could ever allow something like that with, though, she thought grimly.

Feeling the need to look away as her cheeks begun to flush, she turned back to her now almost cold food. Slowely she picked up her chopsticks again and began consuming her dejected dish. She did not notice how Ren had finally gained the courage to speak and opened his mouth. He closed it again and also returned to a solemn eating.

It was first when their plates were retrieved and they sat quietly waiting for the check that Ren again turned to speak to her. She was cuddled up against him and he had his arm around her, slowley caressing her arm. She looked up to him when she noticed him shift, and felt her breath hitch when she saw the burning look in his eyes.

"Kyouko, I... I really like you", he began and cursed at his bad way of starting off the conversation that had so much hanging on it. He had prepared a long speech, but now, when he sat here, next to her, all the words disappeared.

"I like you too, Ren." He looked incrediously at her and she raised her eye brows. "Well, of course, I wouldn't be friends with someone I didn't like. I thought you knew that." She giggled. "For someone as old and experienced as you, you're unexpectedly insecure when it comes to friendships, don't you think?" she said and smiled, then for some reason looked really sad.

_Old and experienced? How old does she think I am?_ Trying not to be beat down before the match began, he tried again.

"What I meant to say is that for all the time that I've known you, I've started to feel more and more desperate to be with you. Everytime you leave I miss you, and can't think of anything but the next time I'll get to see you again-" he said but was interupted.

"I feel the exact same way! Isn't it wierd how that is? I mean with Moko-san I miss her too when she's not there, but somehow whenever you're gone I feel really lonely, as if there's no real point to anything if you're not there to share it."

His heart chirped exitedly as he realized she might feel exactly the same way as him, but she was just abnoramlly unaware of it. He smiled at her from the bottom of his heart feeling the happy joy of true love being answered. She flinched at first but then returned his smile.

"You know what that is called, Kyouko?" he asked, feeling more secure now that he knew how she felt too.

She looked confused. "Friendship...?"

"Love", he said and bent down and planted the lightest of kisses on her lips, asking for permission.

As she didn't move away he did it again, tugging slightly at the warm skin before letting go with a small plopping sound. The next time he stayed even longer and licked on her lower lip before biting lightly. Then he felt her return his advances and his heart jumped in joy. At first he just completely enjoyed the feeling of her lips pressing against his, the warm sensation, her lovely sent. Then, slipping his tongue out, licking on her upper lip, he gained her consent to invade her mouth completely.

Kissing Ren was the oddest of sensations. Her whole body hummed and a deep feeling of need growing in her low abdomen, she met with his tongue. Everything flunged out of her mind as she let him explore her mouth, sliding over her teeth, drawing lines on her palate and rubbing against her tongue. His hands suddenly grabbed her protectively around her back, her skin burning under his touch.

When she felt him tug on her shirt to wriggle his hand up her back inside her clothes, the world suddenly returned to her. Gasping she threw herself from his grip and held her arms around herself in protection from potential dangers coming from the man across her. She didn't dare look at him and looked at her knees instead.

She didn't understand what had happened. Her closest friend had told her he loved her and had then proceeded to _attack_ her. Why would he do something like that? She argued with herself for the different meanings that could be behinds this. A joke? A desperate action as compensation for all the time she took from him making him unable to find himself a girlfriend? A way to scare her off?

"I'm sorry, Kyouko, I went too far..."

There it came, the explanation this was all some kind of twisted ploy to humour him.

"It's just... I couldn't help myself. I've been waiting for so long for you to see me... to answer my feelings for you", he said quietly with his head held low.

What? What did he just say? Waiting? For her? She looked up and noticed his embarrassed state. It didn't seem to be a joke, but she mustn't forget he was the best actor in the entire country, probably the whole world.

"What do you mean?" she asked, voice trembling.

"I love you, Kyouko. Haven't you realized?" he said looking at her with the most adoring eyes she had ever seen.

_No, no, no! This couldn't be happening! Why would he say something like that? Why would he LIE like that? He ruined everything! _She knew she couldn't love anymore, he knew it also. She had found an irreplacable friend in LoveMe who shared her doomed fate, but when Ren had offered her his friendship, she had thought she had found another. A man who saw her for what she was, a broken person who was slowely licking her wounds to one day become someone new, strong and confident, but never the less, loveless.

If he said something like this now, even as a joke, he would RUIN it! She couldn't be close to someone she knew felt, or even just said he felt, like that. Not that she thought he actually did, maybe he was set up by the ever love loving president, Lory, to test her or something. If that was so, then there was a possibility to get out of this awkward situation without too much damage being done.

"D-did someone tell you to tell me that?" she asked nervously without really looking at him.

"No."

His answer was straight and simple, without hesitation.

"LIAR! Why would you say something like that as if you meant it, though we all know you don't?" she screamed, probably upsetting quite a few of the customers who hadn't already left at the late running lunch hour.

"Kyouko, look at me, no, _look at me_, Kyouko. I know you're afraid of love, but I'm willing to wait. If it so takes ten or even twenty years, I'm willing to wait for you. I love you so much it hurts to even think you would some day leave me. I want to be with you always, and I think you feel the same. You said you feel lonely as soon as I'm gone, well that's love. You said nothing's there's no real point to anything unless I'm there to share it, that's love too. You are so stuck on your train of unforgiveness that you can't see how much and how many you already love."

His voice was deep and sincere, but it didn't help the frightened girl as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. He slowely bent over to stroke her cheek, but stopped when she jerked away from his touch that she had, just moments ago, craved.

"Lies..."

"It's not lies."

"You're lying. And even if you didn't, you can't say that I love, because I can't. You're supposed to know that! Don't ever say that again! Don't ever come close to me again!" she screamed with a voice that was close to breaking.

Tears were now rolling down her cheeks, unstoppable. She rose from their seat and slid out, bumping into the table, blinded by her waterfilled eyes. She stumbled towards the entrence, pushed the door open while ignoring the sweet voice of the waitress welcoming her back.

Her world was falling to pieces as she rushed down the street, unaware of where she was going. Many called after her with angry words for her to watch it, but they fell on deaf ears. Finally bumping in to someone, hard, she looked up and regonized the familiar face.

"Sho~!" she wailed and threw herself at the man who surprised grabbed her.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Sho~!" she wailed and threw herself at the man who surprised grabbed her._

Sho held her trembling body to his while a thousand thoughts went through his head. He had long since been forced to give up on his childhood friend as she had appeared more and more often together with that joke of an actor, though he would have to admit he did feel a twinge of hope flutter through his chest when their relationship did not seem to move on from friendship. He knew he didn't stand a chance, though, as had been proved again and again as even her fiery temper had begun to subside whenever _he_ was close by.

He had watched her flourish as an actress and as a woman. She had become more and more beautful every time he saw her, and the few times that he actually got the chance to speak to her, face to face, he had noticed how glowing she looked. He had seen it many times in the many girls that he had dated, but the difference was that the shining smile, the soft gaze, and the caring touch was not directed towards him.

His life as a singer had not changed much, but maybe his style had matured a bit as he felt the thorn of loss at unanswered love. He was still on top of every list within the music industry and had even risen to nr three at the most desired man list, with only some veteran actor that would soon disappear from all charts, according to Sho's prediction, between him and his ever rival.

On the love front he had kept up appearances by dating new girls every month. He had dumped Nanokura Mimori when she had fallen behind in the acting and modeling she had been doing, and he had realized that she could not provide him with any information about Kyouko. She had made a hell of a spectacle about it which had been seen in the tabloids for two days, almost bringing her back to the small stardom she had once claimed, almost.

He couldn't say that he was unhappy, he had achieved the dreams of his childhood. Everybody knew his name and face, girls fell to the floor by his feet, he went to parties every week and tickets to his conserts were always sold out. Almost every young man would kill to be in his shoes, but he'd do anything to turn the clock back if it meant he could have his Kyouko. For no matter how glamorous his life was, he wasn't happy. One of the two things that brought joy to his life was forever lost, and without it he couldn't feel the fullness that music gave him.

As it struck him now, it might not be completely lost. Seeing her hunshing up against him, wailing like he hadn't seen in years, and barely even then, he realized something must have happened to the dream couple to be. Fighting to decide which of the two offers he had at hand he should choose, he solemnly observed the top of her head, covered in orange hair.

Either he could push her away now and avoid the pain the was sure to come from helping and comforting the girl now. He knew she loved that joker, Tsuruga, and would most definitely return to him when all this was sorted out. He didn't know if his heart to take another rejection from this girl, but listening to her loud sobs made his determination to leave her alone sway. His other option was to take care of her, listen to her problems and maybe, just maybe, gain her trust again to at least stay by her side, as a friend, if nothing else.

"Fine", he mumbled under his breath and gave in to his stupid love for the little fellow in his arms.

She seemed to have heard him as she stilled and looked at him with confusion written over her face. All of a sudden nervous he patted her uncomfortably on her back and spoke with a soothing voice:

"Don't worry, I'll help you."

To his surprise she didn't look the least bit happy. Quite the opposite. Apparantly her surroundings had caught up with her, and as she understood her situation a face of utter disbelief and dissatisfaction came across her facial features. She pushed against him to free herself.

"Let go of me!", she screamed when he wouldn't let go. "I don't want your help, stupid Sho-baka", she continued to swear and twisted her body and drummed her hands at his chest with fierce aggrivation.

"Do you expect me to just let you go when she stumbled into me while crying your eyes out?" he hissed, interupting her rantings.

She froze and turned her gaze up to see his face, feeling uncertain. He looked really angry for some reason, almost as if he was actually upset at whatever had made her cry. His grip around her was tight, and when she unconciously relaxed her arms, he brought her close to him, so close that she had her cheek pressed against his thick jacket. The rough material brought som sense back to her overheated mind, and the chilly material felt nice to her hot face.

Similar to the feeling she had whenever Ren held her, she felt calm. But this was still different. It wasn't as complicated. Instead it reminded her of the wonderful simplicity of everything when she was little. Her innocent adoration for Sho and his sweet, yet egoistic, affection he showed her. It had all changed when they moved to Tokyo, but she didn't think about that now.

Ignoring all the possible meanings to her behaviour she let herself be held by the man holding her hatred for so long, and just dwelled in the comfort it brought her in all this mess.

"Was it Tsuruga?" Sho's gentle voice asked.

New tears flooded down her cheeks. She nodded, not bothering to answer, she knew he would feel it.

"Do you want to go to my place and talk about it?" he asked.

She nodded again. "But I still hate you", she said with a thick voice.

It stung but he ignored it and chuckled lightly. He stroked her hair once more and then pulled her around while still holding on to her as the precious thing she was. She leaned on him as he silently led the way. He didn't even notice all the looks they were given as they passed, just continued to hold her, listening to the slowly fading snivels she let out.

~ An hour and a half later she sat in a sofa at Sho's, wrapped up in a blanket with an empty cup that had contained hot tea thirty minutes ago. It had surprised her that he actually managed to compone the drink and had laughed when she heard him curse from the kitchen when he spilled the boiling water over his hands in an attempt to pour some into a cup. She still held on to the cup tightly while Sho sat in a similar armchair across from her, looking frustrated.

She had told him about what had happened after he had reminded her that they used to be best friends. She knew it was a weak excuse, but the security she felt together with him had not gone away, and as she couldn't think of anyone else to go to, she had told him everything.

It had taken a lot of effort and at times it had been painful. Many times had tears threatened to fall, but then Sho would crack a joke or sing a riddiculus song from many years ago, that she knew he would rather die than have anyone else know about. This had brought a smile to her lips and she could continue telling her story. When she came to the kiss, her ears had burned hot from embarrassment and Sho had clenched his fists and looked away.

When she was done with her tale, he sat deep in thought. He had expected her to tell him about Ren doing something horrible, like hitting her or losing his control. Instead this? He was dumbfounded, and not a little relieved. First of all, their relationship had not progressed half as much as he had feared, nor had she come to any real harm. As it was, he felt himself taking pity on the poor man who had yet to concur the girl's heart, though his obvious devotion to her. He must have had to go through hell this past year, having gotten no closer to his goal at all. _But at least he could see her whenever he wanted_, he thought wryly but hastily pushed the thoughts aside.

He could clearly see that the incident had hurt Kyouko, but just as clearly her deep love for the man. It stung when he realized he was to blame for locking up her heart to the extent that she could not accept love even when it was being held straight under her nose. Feeling awefully responsable all of a sudden, he decided to help the poor couple get together. Could he rip someone's heart apart, he could surely mend it again, he thought, confident he could do it. After all, she would surely never look at him if she couldn't trust her own feelings.

Silently planning what he would do, he took the cup from the girl and sat it on the table in front of the sofa, sat down next to her and brought her into a small shoulder to shoulder embrace. At least he was worth that much, wasn't he?

Kyouko looked at him, probably expecting him to say something to everything she had shared with him. He couldn't exactly tell her he was planning on going behind her back to fix her up with the man she now thought she detested, so instead he smiled reasuringly at her.

"I don't think you should judge him too hard, Kyouko", he said and she looked surprised. He wasn't sure if it was from the statement itself or the fact that he had not immediately agreed to everything bad she could come up with about his rival. "He's just a man. Whether what he said was true or not, I'm sure he meant no harm-"

"But if he lied how could he not have meant to harm me?" she asked, and looked at him as he was an idiot.

"I don't think he lied, but maybe you were such close friends that he couldn't differ between his feelings of caring deeply for you and loving you", Sho said, while trying to keep his face from showing the obvious lie as he caressed her arm gently.

"I'm really close friends with both him and Moko-san and I have no trouble what so ever in differing between love love and care love", she huffed.

_Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn't be in this situation_, Sho thought and tried not to roll his eyes at her.

"Well, that's because Kotonami-san is a girl. Between a man and a woman there is a different chemistry, at least as long as none of them are gay, and Tsuruga isn't gay is he?"

Kyouko's eyes grew large at the idea, then shook her head vigourously. "No, he's definitely not gay", she said, very determined.

Wondering slightly what caused her fierce conviction, his eyes narrowed, but he shook it off.

"There you go", he offered when she looked up at him expectantly to hear the continuation of his explanation.

"But why would he feel confused if I don't?" she asked when he didn't say anything more.

"Haven't you ever?" She shook her head. "Are you sure?" She nodded. "Not even in the slightest? Like for example, haven't you felt the sudden need to just touch him or be touched?" he asked, hating himself for bringing this up, but if it helped then so be it.

She winced and he closed his eyes, brows furrowed. When he opened his eyes, she was looking down on her hands in her lap with a pretty blush decorating her cheeks and he bit back a groan. Why couldn't she see how she truly felt for the man by herself? It was so overly obvious to everybody!

"But that doesn't mean that I love him, as in love love him", she defended herself when she saw his triumphant smile that he forced on his face when she looked up.

"No", he agreed. "But it does mean that you sometimes mix up your love love and care love, that you so nicely put it."

When she looked horrified, he sighed and continued:

"Look, love doesn't have to be painful. It can be, yes, and you have felt it sharply and without someone to pick up the pieces for you, but you've missed out on all the wonderful things that love can bring you. Of course you would try and deny it if that's the only part you've experienced, but it doesn't end there. If you close your eyes for all the good parts, the happiness, the comfort and pleasure, you can't say that you've truly lived."

He knew he sounded like some preaching idiot, but he felt the need to get her to see, even if it didn't wake her up from her horrible dream just yet. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, he wanted to rewind time and make it undone, he wanted to share with her the happiness he told her about.

"And love doesn't automatically mean a forever lasting marriage with promises and heavy chains stopping you from living your own life. It can simply be a walk in the park or talking over a nice cup of tea-" he said but stopped as he realized the implications, but she didn't seem to notice, so he continued.

"If you don't want to go back to Tsuruga, then that is fine. But if you miss him and suddenly find youself longing for his company, even if it is just a moment, I think you should give him another chance. What he did was not so bad for you to condemn him forever, and breaking up with him will only hurt the both of you. I've seen how you smile when you're together with him, don't give me that look, I've _seen _it, I said. And I, if anyone, should know you the best, right? Give youself a chance to find happiness", he said and gave her a pat on the head.

She didn't look all that convinced but at least some light had returned to her eyes. It wasn't his pleasure to see the two of them get back together, but he had chosen to do this for her, and he would see it through.

After another ten minutes or so she said her goodbyes. She gave him a quick hug which he answered. He held her close for a moment, feeling his chest tighten, before letting her go. He shoved her out the door with a "And don't ever let me see you cry again!"

When she had left he leaned against the door while letting a single tear run down his cheek, over his lip and disappear into his mouth as he clenched his teeth together.

On the other side of the door Kyouko looked a little startled at the abrupt end, but the smiled a little. She let her hand touch the door a second, thinking about everything that Sho had done for her. Then she turned around and walked out in the cold March afternoon.

Outside everything had continued like normal without caring for the heartbroken girl taking comfort in an old friend. Stealing a quick glance at her phone she noticed five missed calls with an unknown ID, and then saw the time.

"SHIMATTA!" she screamed as she realized she would be late for her meeting with the cast members and the director of _Racing Through Time_ if she didn't leave _now_.

**Sooo, yeah, there it is. I hope you enjoyed. Many was shocked at Kyouko's interaction with Sho, but again, it's been a year. Just look at a few other fanfics where a dramatic change where going from hating his guts into becoming a dear friend happen within a month. Just use your imagination a little, ne? :)**


	7. Chapter 7

_"SHIMATTA!" she screamed as she realized she would be late for her meeting with the cast members and the director of _Racing Through Time _if she didn't leave _now_._

Kyouko raced through the building, still on her bike, in her desperate attempt to be on time. First when she had to enter a staircase did she realize this really wasn't the place to ride any type of vehicle. She had already crashed into a few people who had screamed after her what a maniac she was. So she dropped her bicycle. She sprinted up the stairs with her breath in her throat and a sweaty back, scanned the different doors in the hunt for the right one and she dashed past them, and when she found it at last, she slammed the door open and bowed so deep she couldn't see anything but her knees.

"I'm so sorry I'm late! It will never happen again!" she half screamed and then waited for a response.

A small cough caught her curiosity and she dared look up to meet only one pair of eyes that ogled her with an amused expression. He stod by the window, but had turned when she had crashed in. He had dark brown hair that was cut in short fashion and his eyes were the normal black-brown. He was young, close to her age, only a little older, but his whole body language spoke of professionalism. He was dressed in black jeans and a grey shirt buttomed up all the way to the second last, leaving him to look comfortable and confident. He was very handsome, but that went unnoticed by the confused girl who was busy trying to figure out why there was no one else there yet.

"Don't worry, I don't think you're late, at least not if you're really supposed to meet with someone _in here_", he said in a smooth voice.

"Oh, are you another cast member of _Racing Through Time_ then?" Kyouko asked, still with the adrenaline pumping through her body.

"Yes, I am. I play the leader of the other gang."

"Is that so?" she said distracted while trying to fish out her phone to see if she had misstook the time. "Weren't we supposed to meet at three in here?" she asked with eye brows furrowed as she instead noticed another missed call, adding to her list of five.

"Indeed. But it's still ten minutes to go", he commented, checking his watch. "And since there are actually quite few members of the cast that work here at LME they will probably arrive in a group together with an assistent."

"Is that so?" Kyouko said again, this time relieved. She swayed a little and then dumped on the floor, her legs giving out after the intense trip there.

"Are you alright?" the man asked and offered his hand.

Blushing, she nodded and explained. "I was late so I think I overdid it in trying to get here on time."

"Ah, that would explain the apoligising", he nodded in understanding and pulled her up when she finally took his hand after a visible hesitation. He observed her, clearly not able to quite grasp her personality, but shook it off. "I think we'll get along very well", he said, without letting go of her hand. "I'm Ryoga, by the way. Utsumi Ryoga."

"Yes, I think so too, Utsumi-san", she said, somewhat sure that they would, he seemed very nice. "I'm Kyouko."

"Just Kyouko?" he asked questioning, gazing at her intensely.

"Yes, it's my stage name", she said unblinking, unable to break the eye contact.

"Okay, Kyouko-san it is then", he smiled and finally let go of her hand. "Why don't we take a seat while we wait for the others?" he asked and pulled out a chair for her. "Personally I don't think you should stand, it sounded like you overexerted yourself to get here." He rounded the table and took place directly in front of her, bending over the table on his elbows, as if to see her more clearly.

"I'm used to it", she said but had to admit it was a relief when she could finally sit down. "Do you work here?" she suddenly asked, and he raised his eye brows. "I mean, since you didn't need any help finding the way", she explained.

"No, I'm not a hired actor here, but I've done some work together with a few of the directors working for LME. How about you? I assume you belong to this agency?" He made it sound like a question, but he looked confident he had it right, so she felt intrigued to ask. "Well, you stumbled in here without even looking if you were in the right room. That leads me to believe you know this place well enough to be working here." She stared at him and he winked at her.

They talked animatedly for a couple of more minutes before the rest of what Kyouko presumed was the cast members for _Racing Through Time_. Both she and Ryoga rose and bowed to welcome the director who smiled brightly at the both of them. The others also greeted them before joining them by the table. A man who introduced himself as Hojo Kiminari and would play Yamane, her adoptive father's right man hand, was placed to Kyouko's left, and a slightly younger girl named Shijo Senshi to her right that would play his nephew, Misako, and the only other female in the gang.

"We will begin then", said the director, Heike Genichi, after a short presentation of everyones name and role. "Kyouko-san, you will begin at scene five where you are talking to Yamane. Hojo-san, you are picking up the boss' daughter Ai as usual, but when you find her dead in a river you seek up the girl you met a few hours earlier in your search for Ai."

Kyouko swallowed and entered her role as Ai, the orphan girl with a pure heart but with so much pain from being alone her entire life since her parents left her at the orphanage which she doesn't remember. Her shoulders dropped a little as the perfect posture Kyouko had been raised to achieve left her. She brought her hand to her lips and tugged a little the bottom one as her eye brows creased and a look of sorrow flashed across her face. She took deep shaky breaths as to calm herself.

**"It's okay, there's no need to be upset, you will return to them now", I whispered to myself, hardly audiable. I leaned my back against the wall to the restroom, feeling the rough stone material scratch my back through my thin shirt.**

**"You!" a loud voice echoed behind me and I jumped. It was the man from before! "There you are, I've been looking for you", said the black dressed man that had bumped into me only a few hours ago.**

**"D-do I know you?" I stuttered and cursed myself for responding at all. I should have left as soon as I realized he was talking to me. He could be dangerous. He looked dangerous...**

**The man looked at me as if searching for something and then narrowed his eyes. "I'm Yamane" he said. "You care to become a spoiled princess in exchange for your life?"**

**My mind was racing. What was he talking about? Was he insane? He talked liked it, but his eyes were clear and calculating.**

**"What do you-"**

**"You have the face of my boss's daughter, but she died. If I show up and tell him that his only heir was killed while I was on duty to guard her, it will be my head rolling next. I'm offering you a deal here. If you follow me and pretend to be Ai-sama, you can get a new life..." **

**His eyes were burning with the desire to have me follow him, something I had never experienced. Never before had I been needed for anything, just a bother. The whole situation seemed completely unrealistic, but I knew it was real for I could see the honesty inte the man's eyes. This could be my escape- I didn't want to return. My whole body started shaking at the mere thought.**

**"What took you so long, Yamane-san?" I asked, trying to sound more confident than I was.**

**The man smiled and then grabbed my. "We need to hurry."**

"Thank you, that was good enough for your first time", said Director Heike.

Kyouko gasped as she returned from Ai. Ryoga noticed, smiled approvingly at her and turned back to listen. They ended up doing a few more scenes where the others could show their making of their roles. It took a little over an hour before they finished and just before they left the director had handed out copies of the full script for five episodes and encouraged everyone to be ready to start filming any scene by Monday morning as most scenes were outside and much hung on the weather.

"He seems, strict, don't you think?" Ryoga asked as he caught up with her on the way out. "Director Heike that is."

"He seemed nice enough, but you're right, another four episodes in five days, is a little... I wouldn't like it if he was too laid back either, though", answered Kyouko and bit her lip, pondering over the new director.

"You don't have to look so concerned, Kyouko-san", laughed Ryoga, "I was just commenting, not trying to trick you into saying something mean so I can go blab to the man."

"I didn't think you would do such a thing", Kyouko hastily defended herself.

"I'm relieved", he said then stopped and turned to her. "I've got a little time to spare. Would you mind to go grab a cup of coffee with me?", he asked.

She hesitated. It wasn't that she would mind really, her eye lids were heavy and she could need some caffeine to get her spirits up after such an exhausting day. No, she was more worried about the implications it would bring. She had realized that dinners and other private meetings could be misinterpreted by others. _And even the ones involved_, she thought bitterly.

"It's alright if you don't want to", Ryoga offered and smiled, without looking strained or disappointed. He didn't seem to be after anything weird, but she still felt insecure.

"I probably shouldn't", she said, and bit her lip, looking down on her feet.

"It's not a date, if you don't wish it to be", he said, suddenly serious and touched her arm lightly. "It's just that I don't know anyone in this drama, and I don't really like solitude much, but if you feel unsure, then just say the word and I'll let it go."

"Thanks", she whispered and bowed.

"I suppose it's for the better", he sighed. "Your boyfriend would probably misunderstand and get jealous, huh?" he laughed and then waved good bye and left.

"I don't -" she began, but he was already gone. She sighed. _I don't have a boyfriend._

Suddenly her whole body began vibrating, and continued to do so as the girl searched frantically for her phone. In her left pocket she finally found it and pulled it out and looked at the screen, worried. It was an unknown caller. It could be Sawara Takenori, but if it was Ren... She didn't know if she could handle that right now. Her finger hoverng above the ignore button, she was just about to press it down when her worth ethic kicked in. _I'm not going to miss a job call just because of some stupid fight with a friend... ex-friend... _

"Love me!" she answered as cheerfully as she could and ignored the shiver that ran down her spine at the horrible words she was forced to say with whenever someone called her during work hours.

"Why have you been ignoring my calls?" screamed Kanae, threatening to burst Kyouko's eardrums.

"Moko-san!" she exclaimed happily when she regained her hearning. "I haven't ignored any of your calls. And why are your number unkown now, by the way?" she asked and looked up in the ceiling trying to figure the mystery out.

"I told you I had changed number and made it invisible since some scary stalker began harrassing me" she said angry, yet serious, and Kyouko suddenly detected a small hint of sadness, or was it fear?, in her friend's voice.

"I'm so sorry, I completely forgot!" she said, horrified that she could ignore something so important.

Her friend had told her in utmost confidence about the incident with someone getting a hold of her number just after a PV she had been apart of had been released. Aparantly he had just breathed in the phone without saying a word and it had freaked Kanae out. This all happened two months ago, and since the number had been replaced, no more calls had come.

"Oh never mind, I've got you now. I'm about to leave for my next job, but they don't need me quite yet and I wanted to talk to you about this morning", came Kanae's reply, interupting her friend's rambling of apologies.

"This morning?"

"Yeah, you know with Tsuruga-san and all. It felt weird to leave it at that...", Kanae said, kind of stiffly while trying not to sound too ashamed. She was disturbed in her half hearted explanation of a dark hellish aura that sipped through the phone and grabbed her wrists and ankles, freezing her in face. "Wha-?"

"Please don't mention his name", came the horrid voice of the devil and Kanae shivered. _What on Earth had happened to cause that reaction? Usually she's all cheery and lovey dovie whenever his name is mentioned. _This all seemed kind of backwards. Wasn't that response usually the result of mentioning that singer, Fuwa?

"Alright, alright. Anyway, do you want to tag along for a cup of coffee so we can talk? I really need some caffeine", she said tired and sighed in relief as the demons left her.

Smiling at their similarity, Kyouko accepted, wrote down the place and listened to Kanae as she said something more. Then she passed a poster with a huge picture of Ren as he posed for some movie he starred in, and she didn't hear another word of what the person on the other end said. She was too occupied watching his face, feeling her cheeks flush and trying to surpress the growing feeling of regret in her stomach. "_But if you miss him and suddenly find youself longing for his company, even if it is just a moment, I think you should give him another chance._"

_No, no, no. I mustn't think like that_, she told herself. She looked at his beautful face, his perfect chest that was exposed beneath a dark green shirt that was unbottoned all the way down to his navel, and suddenly stretched out an arm as if to touch him. Then she stopped herself. It was just a poster, not really him. Not that she wanted to touch him either. No, of course not! What an absurd thought. She was pissed off at him. He should stay away from her so that she could hate him in peace, and then get over him.

Suddenly tears fell down her cheeks and she sunk to her knees in front of the gigantic poster. Her entire body shook uncontrollably while she stifled her sobs. What was the matter with her? Hadn't she cried enough for one day? Her hands trembled and she dropped her phone with a soft _clink_ and her head came to rest against the cold wall while she clenched her teeth, breathing unevenly. She felt her chest tighten and grabbed her shirt just above her heart as if to rip it out. How she wished she could, so she wouldn't have to endure the painfull throbbing that reaped through her body like it wanted to rip her apart.

Soft foot steps brought her back to reality and she looked up at the man causing her this agony.

"Kyouko...", Ren whispered and looked at her with eyes filled with worry.

**Well, it looks like Ren is still in control of her heart, all of you who are worried about the new guy. Hope you enjoyed, please read and review! **


	8. Chapter 8

_"Kyouko...", Ren whispered and looked at her with eyes filled with worry._

Her world stopped. The air was forced out of her lungs and she couldn't move. Everything slowed down and became very clear. Too clear. Her eyes hurt and she had to blink. The last of her tears fell down her cheek and she tasted its saltieness as it slowley rolled into her mouth.

She watched as he stretched towards her and for a moment she felt herself long for him no matter what. Though it had only been hours since she had last been held by those strong warm arms, listened to his soft heart beat and breathed in the same pace as him, she wanted nothing more than to have him embrace her once again. His face looked so sincere, so soft and welcoming, yet afraid. She didn't want that. Why was he afraid?

Just as she was about to fling herself into his arms, just as the first muscle compressed to move, she halted. If this was the end then why had she run? She was still afraid, was she not? She still feared that love would hurt her. She still didn't think herself capable of opening her heart enough to love, and she didn't think someone as wonderful as Ren deserved to live with someone that couldn't love him back.

Their eyes were locked, and it felt as if his gaze burned a hole through her. Why did he have such power over her? He seemed to have noticed how she hesitated, and didn't move in to hold her as she both wished for and dreaded. Maybe he wouldn't have even if she hadn't moved. Then she noticed how his lips moved and her eyes were drawn to observe them. He licked them as if to speak, but no words came out of his mouth. When she was let out of the prison of his eyes, she looked down. Neither moved for a while. She could feel his eyes burning into her forhead, but she didn't dare look up again. It was way too dangerous. As it was, she was fighting not to scream and run away from there. She knew that if she met his gaze, she would instead fight the impulse to reach for him again.

It all didn't make any sense as she was absolutely sure she did not want to forgive him. Or rather, she did not want him to think she had forgiven him, for she had found it impossible to keep being mad at him when all she felt was the desire to be close to him, as he would then probably expect something from her. Something she couldn't offer. And even if he didn't right away, he would later. After a few years when this incident was since long forgotten, then he would begin to hope, begin to push her. If he hadn't found someone else by then, which he probably had. Either way, she did not want to be close enough to him to experience one or the other.

She didn't rise to leave, but when she sensed how he moved closer to her, how he lowered himself down to sit on his knees, her heart began to race. For a second he was so close she could hear him breath. The urge to hug him increased, the desire to feel him close to her and be overwhelmed by the comfort he brought her when he surrounded her, almost shoked her. Then she flinched away as his fingers were only inches away from her face.

"Kyouko," he whispered again, causing shivers to run up her spine. "Please, I..."

"Don't say it, Ren" she interrupted, surprised by how deep and sorrowfilled her voice sounded. "I don't want to hear it."

Oh, what a lie! She wished to hear him speak her name as soon as she heard him voice it the first time. It sounded like velvet and caused her stomach to knot. She wanted him to comfort her, to speak to her, to cherish her. She wanted to hear him, feel him, smell him and taste him. She wanted him to disappear and never say he loved her. She wanted this day to be rewind and not let anything that had been said, be said, nothing that had been done, be done.

"I want to explain", he said, very quietly, so close to her ear she could hardly concentrate on anything but his presence.

"I think you've explained far more than necessary", she countered with more ice than she knew herself capable of at that moment. "I told you I didn't want to see you anymore."

"But you're not looking anyway", he accused her.

It sent shockwaves of guilt through her body, but she still couldn't face him and looked stubbornly at her hands that she held in a tight grip while resting on her knees, if it could be called resting as she was so tense they actually wavered about half an inch above them. She watched them carefully, both to avoid his all too addictive gaze and to make sure her hands did not wander somewhere they did not belong.

"I told you to not speak to me as well", she reminded him and bit her tongue as it almost sounded like teasing, though she still thought it incredible she could form a whole normal-sounding sentence while he was this close.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that", he admitted, and scooted even closer but without touching her. "I can not not talk to you, and I can not not see you. You are the life force in me. Without you I cannot exist. But if you can't yet be with me, I'll wait. I'll always wait for you, as I've told you and will continue to tell you until you listen and believe me."

"There you go again. You're so selfish. How can you say something like that to me, when you know how I am? What am I supposed to say to that? Respond to that? You're an amazing man, and I wish you all of happiness, but you won't find it with me. Whenever you say you'll wait it'll only hurt you. And if it doesn't, then know that it hurts me!" she said, her voice turning thinner and thinner, but it never broke. "I'm not telling you to stay away from me to be mean to you, you know. I say it to avoid pain, both yours and mine."

She stumbled a little when she rose, but when he grabbed her wrist and held it there, despite her fumbling attempt to free herself, she trembled so furiously she fell back to her knees. How come she never noticed how strong he was? She had caught a glimpse of it when he had held her down to the floor in his kitchen so long ago, but then she had not really struggled to get away. She had seen it when he would lift heavy things for her as she insisted she could carry them herself, but she had waved it off since it had not been trying to bind her in any way at that time. She should have realized when she had once saw him do a work out session while playing Setsu, but then again, she was so occupied in her role she would just assume her brother was the strongest in the world to protect her, not hold her back. Now she could clearly see how strong he was as his muscles barely flexed, and yet she yanked with all her might to get away from his grip. When she again sat on the floor, he loosened his grip even if he did not completely let her go.

"If having you means I have to go through a little pain, then so be it, I won't mind. If it causes you pain, then I'm truly sorry-"

"Then let me go!" she screamed but his grip hardened when she once more tried to wriggle her wrist out of his hand.

"Let me finish", he said, his voice strained from something he held back very carefully. It could have been fear or desperation, but she wasn't sure. "I've seen too many dramas where the heroine and and hero have to go through so much trouble and pain from just misunderstandings and lack of communication. I don't want us to needlessly do all that, and therefore I am here to explain to you everything there is to explain, so there will be no doubt in your mind when you leave."

She felt slightly relieved that he said _when_ and not_ if_. At least he was planning on letting her go.

"You don't have to worry then", she said cruely. "We won't go through all of that, for I'm not like all those heroines."

"Indeed, you are not", he said, dead serious. "You are so much more beautiful."

Her cheeks burned and she tried again to pull her hand back, but he held it firmly.

"Th-that's not what I meant..."

"But it's true. I know of no one more beautiful than you, and that I'm truly honest with."

Without realizing she had lifted her gaze to meet his and was smothered by the feelings conveyed in his eyes. Her heart fluttered and her angels began dancing on her shoulders while singing love songs with their sweet voices that were completely unrecognizable by anyone else. She didn't dare protest which had been her original intent when she recklessly looked up.

"Okay fine", she whispered and felt something horrible squeeze around her heart as she saw how his eyes lit up. "I understand you love me", she said without believing it. "I understand you want to be with me and that you can wait", she continued and almost winced at the painful words she was about to say. She could see how the light faltered when he picked up on her not so happy face that did not seem fitting on a girl about to confess to a boy she loved.

She knew she couldn't enter a role in order to say this without causing herself too much pain, it would be selfish even if it was for a greater cause. She knew that Ren would be able to spot one of her characters as he had been there when she had created most of them. She also knew that saying this without showing the regret and sorrow it brought her would be close to impossible, and if it, did it would make the whole thing meaningless. Slowley she surrounded herself in the protection that only an actress can produce, without letting her mind be clouded by someone else's thoughts.

"You've said you want me to know all this before I leave, and now I know. Therefore I'm going to tell you this now so that you will not continue to pursuit me when I'm gone." She lifted her other hand that was not held captured by his, to stop his interruption. "Let me speak", she said and forced a face with no emotion. "I do not love you. I do not want you to wait. I do not want you to be close to me or speak to me again. If this causes you pain, then you will live through it if you truly love me."

The words stung in her own ears, but she did not need to blink away any tears for she had none left after this exhausting day that had been filled with nothing but tears, it seemed. Her face felt like stone as she continued to hold the emotionless expression in place. She felt the grip on her wrist losen and quickly pulled her hand to her chest. She kept her eyes on his face as she felt obliged to see how he reacted, felt the need to see his hurt and absorb it as she was the source it, for sure. If she had ever doubted his words were true, they were washed away as his face completely and utterly fell. All the colour left his cheeks and only despair met her when she stared into his eyes. Many times he opened his mouth like he wanted to speak, but she had rendered him speachless it would appear, and no words that could be considered japanese or any other known language were uttered. Carefully she lifted her hand and to stroke his face. As soon as she made contact with his skin, it felt as if she had burned her hand and pulled her hand back, most likely causing him to believe she couldn't force herself to touch him, which was probably for the better, she thought with clenched teeth.

"Well then, good bye, Ren", she said and rose.

He could barely hear her words, nor sense her as she stood up and the clatter of her shoes left him. He was locked up in his mind. Rewinding her words over and over as if stuck in a nightmare determined to curse him into an eternal suffering. He had tried to tell her how he felt, he had tried to take back his words and told her he could wait. Of course he should have known that if she didn't think herself ready now, then she would not think that she would be so at any time in life. Yet she had been so accepting, so _loving_, he didn't know what else to think but that she had finally awoken from her trance of hatred. He had taken a chance and confessed his feelings that he had tried to bury and forget over and over until she would finally respond to him, and she had said no, not once but many times until he was forced to understand how deeply burried she was in her fear. It seemed he had no chance of winning. He couldn't believe that he had come to a dead end, but there had been no doubt visible in her eyes that were usually so expressive.

"She really meant it", he whispered and suddenly felt something wet on his cheek. Bringing his hand to the feeling he realized it was tears. He had not cried in years! At least not for real, but in movies it had been required many times, just as many times as he had delivered them. Now they streamed down his cheeks unstoppably with the real emotion painfully present. His body shook violently and he lowered his face to floor, not taking any notice of his surroundings. At any moment a curious by-passer could enter the otherwise empty corridor and would immediately notice Tsuruga Ren, lying on the floor, crying like a child. It would make the front page for days, if that by-passer would care to share it. However it would hurt his carreer, however people would curiously start asking questions to sell him out and however much damage his image would take, he could not bring himself to care. Nothing mattered right now. Not as long as she wasn't in his life any longer.

No one did come and after what felt like hours he awoke from his trance. He brushed off his pants as he rose and wiped away the tears from his face, pulling his face in his hands, reforming it for a second before it returned to its original state and he inhaled heavily as if he hadn't breathed at all during his downfall. He looked at the time on his phone and noticed he was late to a job, and that Yukihito had called him fourteen times. He could not remember when he had turned his phone off, but he apparantly had at some point during this day, that had proven to be the worst in his life so far, only fair he would break his record of no late arrival.

He jumped when the phone angrily ringed again and he brought it to his ear, trying to sound guilty when he greeted his manager.

"_Where _have you _been_? Never mind, just _hurry _here!" Yukihito raged and quickly gave him the adress before ending the call with an angry _beep_.

Ren was just about to leave when he noticed something pink by his feet. He bent down to pick it up and realized it was a phone from the LoveMe section. It could only belong to Kyouko, which meant he would have to return it to her. While trying to crush the happy feelings that bubbled up through the thick layers of sorrow at a chance to see her, for he had no right to anymore and she had repeatedly stressed that she did not want to see him again, he looked at the phone and saw that a call was still held. Hesitating for a second, he brought the phone to his ear and terrified of the response he asked:

"Hello?"

~ Not far away from there Kyouko walked slowely down the corridors towards the exit. She couldn't explain to herself why she moved so slowely, and wouldn't justify the reason her angels whispered in her ear with pleads, that she was waiting for Ren to come and stop her, tell her he didn't care she couldn't love and... And what? He wouldn't wait forever, not even he. She didn't increase her speed. Never the less, she reached her goal and took one last glance into the building, scanning the huge room, the people walking around, rushing to their destinations, stopping to talk with someone, kissing someone good bye... Kyouko stopped looking, swallowed hard and left to meet Kanae. The meeting with... _him _had taken longer than she had actually had time for, and there was a possibility Kanae had already gone to her next job, but she couldn't just ignore their plans, and went to their decided place anyway. If she had not been occupied with so many other thoughts running through her mind, she might have thought to call her friend, and the story might have taken another turn, but as it was Kyouko was not really herself. And who could blame her? Therefore she did not choose to look through her pockets in search of her phone, she did not realize she had forgotten it, and she did not return to retrieve it.

When she arrived at the café her friend had told her about, she found Kanae waiting outside with a very dissatisfied expression. She had furrows between her eye brows, her mouth was turned down in a displeased way, and while she stood with a straight back, both feet planted on the ground in a way similar to the military, and her arms crossed in front of her, she gave off an aura of grim anger, scaring off any type of intruder to her privacy, though the busy street. When she noticed Kyouko, a small flash of compassion crossed her features, but before anyone could be sure it was actually there, it had disappeared, and a relieved, stressed and even angrier expression had appeared, which Kyouko had no idea how she managed to pull off with only one face.

"Mo! There you are! I've been waiting for _hours _and now I have to go," she said, and stomped her foot when Kyouko looked at her with the face of a kicked puppy.

"Can't I meet you afterwards instead?" she whimpered.

If she had had a tail, Kanae was sure it would have wagged in a hopeful manner when she sighed exasperated, but without denying the possibility. She felt almost sad as she had to crush that wish, and shook her head.

"Um-umh, that's no good. I've got something planned then already. Besides, you look like you could use some serious sleep. What have you been doing all day?" she asked, though she already had quite a good idea, from her call with a certain someone a few minutes ago.

"Yeah, you're probably right", said Kyouko and for the first time allowed a bit of her absolute exhaustion to show on her face in her friend's presence. "This day feels like a year."

Kanae nodded in sympathy, then realized she really had to go. Quickly and carefully she hugged her friend so that she would not be trapped, then stepped back and left in a rush as she was already late which she had been very much aware of, but she couldn't have left Kyouko alone, not after a day like this, not after everything she had overheard thanks to her friend's carelessness with her phone. She sighed as she thought of her conversation with Ren. She just hoped she did the right thing.

Kyouko yawned though the time showed no more than five o'clock. She considered going back to finish off some more LoveMe work, then shuddered as she thought of meeting Ren there. She was sure that would not be a pleasant encounter considering everything that she had said and done. She stood silent for a moment, thinking of everything she had given up when she had asked him not to contact her any more. All the pleasant talks, the phone calls, the dinners, the rides home and to different shootings, the meetings in the hallways.

She must have stood there longer than she realized, for someone suddenly touched her shoulder and told her they would be closing now. She nodded in thanks and turned on the spot and left to go home.

**Phew, it's done. Hope you enjoyed. Sorry to all of you who thought Kyouko was out of character, but believe it or not, I've got a plan. Please continue to read and support!**


	9. Chapter 9

_Summary so far: when Ren confessed to Kyouko she rejected him. He tried to explain everything to her and she made it clear that she did not wish to keep in contact with him, all the while Kanae was listening on their conversation through her phone._

Kanae was walking fast. She had just finished her work for the day, and she felt exhausted, but it didn't matter as she had already made up plans for the night, pushing her much longed for bedtime further away. The sun had set an hour ago and the darkness brought with it cold. She hugged her jacket closer to her body, gripped the handbag on her shoulder tighter and shivered, feeling the goose bumps form on her arms and neck, but without losing her speed. She wore shoes unfit for walking late at night and her feet hurt already. She wished she had thought to bring a couple of spare to change into after her filming, both to wear when arriving there and when leaving, but as always, looking good in public took priority.

When she finally took notice of the neon sign glimmering in the darkness along with so many others, she sighed in relief and increased her pace until she arrived at the decided café she had suggested they should meet at. It was in the midst of Tokyo, but they were at little risk of being spotted and recognized as it was orientated in the slums. It wasn't the worst of kinds, where murders and rapes occurred in corners of alleys and the like, but the neighborhood and costumers were poor enough not to own TVs and care for celebrities.

She pushed the door open and listened to the little bell tingling to the movement of it as she entered, scanned the room and its inhabitants, and spotted a tall man in a long coat with a cap hung low over his face and his body positioned leaning over the table with a cup of coffee between his slim hands, in a dark corner. Only one man that tall could be destined to show up at this dirty little shop with only five other guests at this hour. She walked more slowly now as she approached the man with a hidden face, feeling cautious despite her conviction for the man to be the one she sought.

"Tsuruga-san?" she questioned as she reached the table in the very back of the room. The light was dim, a candle on the table being the only source of it as she blocked out all the others with her body while she stood with her hands in her pockets, leaning on one foot, sending out a confidence she didn't feel. She had her back to the rest of the café and ignored the mumbling of the couple sitting closest to where she was standing, only two tables away. At least they hadn't decided to sit directly next to him, she thought and added, as neither would I have, did I not know this man.

The man drummed a little on the cup with the fingers of his right hand and bent down his face even more, without exposing any skin, as the only response. She took a seat opposite him, ordered a cup of tea to the chubby woman who approached her as soon as she sat down, there was no need to add another coffee to her three already consumed that day only. As young she had not wanted to drink coffee and had long declined any offer as the ones in her surroundings had begun drinking. It smelled bad and gave you yellow teeth. Now she didn't survive a day without at least two cups, one in the morning to start functioning like normal, and one during lunch to keep her spirits up during the long afternoon and evening. To her, the smell had turned into something wonderful.

"Well?" she asked, though she could already guess what was to come. She had heard the conversation between the actor and the actress, and had quite a hum about what was going on. It didn't hurt that she was Kyouko's best friend either.

What she wanted to hear was a confirmation on what exactly this man was expecting from her. She hadn't come all this way just to have him sit there with his head bent down while waiting for her to save his sorry excuse for a life. It wasn't that she didn't acknowledge him as the great actor he was, no she admired his work tremendously, and looked forward to be working with him on this movie and test her skills, more than she would like to admit, but when it came to Kyouko things became... too close.

She wasn't sure Ren was fit to be the man to finally drag Kyouko out of her misery after the whole episode with Shou. In fact, he had been doing nothing but bring salt to the wound the past couple of hours it would seem. Her friend was in shreds and the man did nothing to help her. Well, he tried to_ explain everything_, as if that was what she needed right now. At least he had done _something _after more than two years of a big nothingness. She was very much aware of the man's reluctance to admit his feelings for her friend, and thereafter a long time where he tried to deny himself the opportunity to make reality of the possibility to gain love, and it didn't bring him any more glory in the eyes of Kanae. He had waited patiently, which wasn't all that bad, Kanae supposed, but it still brought little comfort to Kyouko now as she tried to sort out the abrupt change in her second most trusted friend. As for the most trusted friend, Kanae took the liberty of applying herself into that spot, of maybe it was confidence.

She held back a gasp as Ren decided it was time to raise his head to meet the eyes of his would-be rescuer. His face was pale, his lips sore as if he had bit on them continuously from the moment he had hung up the phone while talking to her, his eyes were red, from crying, she guessed, which was a sight new to her. She had had the rare opportunity to see many of the faces of this very famous man that he would not show the rest of the world, a result from being close to Kyouko who seemed able to draw any kind of response she wished for out of him.

A strong feeling of sympathy she hadn't counted on washed through her, and before she realized what she had done, she stretched out an arm and planted her hand over his that gripped more tightly around the cup he was holding, as if to support himself, preventing him from doing something he would regret later, like throwing the cup in the wall, walk out and kill someone, perhaps. It didn't seem an all too outrageous idea, she thought as she looked into his black eyes that were dead tired but still burned with a crazed desperation. His hand shook slightly. If he was this far gone in less than a day, what would he be like in a week, Kanae wondered and closed her mouth that had popped open at the sight of him, with a silent exhale.

"I want you to tell me how I can fix this." He held her gaze, but it didn't feel as if he was really seeing her.

"I don't know", she answered honestly, but felt a twinge of pity for the man when he just continued to look at her as if he hadn't heard her. Maybe he hadn't. It wasn't easy to tell as he was an actor and had learned to school his facial expressions to the very core of everything. When he didn't act he knew how to hold his emotions in, when he did act, he knew how to let his emotions play plain visible on his face, but now, when all feelings had seemingly left him, his face was empty, and she couldn't read him at all.

"This is a delicate matter" she said, though it was quite obvious already. "I am the person closest to her, and yet I don't know. You probably think I'm useless. The thing is, I can understand her. I'm also in LoveMe if you recall", she said with a bit of sarcasm slipping through her otherwise calm tone. It was hard to keep a straight face when even thinking about that cursed section. "I've got a hunch about what she's going through, and I'm telling you, it is difficult to let go of something you're so absolutely convinced of, especially if you don't _want _to, which may be the key factor to solving this case."

He looked at her, and a little bit of light had entered his eyes, or maybe it was only her imagination. He didn't shift in his position, nor did he say anything to encourage her to continue, but she was sure that the fact he was looking at her was proof he was very much interested in what she had to say. When she had proposed a meeting after he had picked up the forgotten phone on the ground, she had not expected him to have fallen this far, but she could work it through. She continued her one-sided conversation.

"I might be able to help you, as I'm probably the only person she'll listen to at a moment like this. _But_," She stared at him with a glare mighty of Mio. "... I want to be sure my friend is in capable hands if I'm to convince her to open up to love again. I can't have her fall to the pits of hell again just to satisfy your ego." Her voice was ice cold, but he didn't seem particularly afraid, nor did he have any other response, irritating her further as she could not decipher his true intentions at all. Or rather, his intentions she could tell, but how thorough and well suited they were, she could not.

Just as she was about to again open her mouth to spout some nonsense in her efforts to make him react, she felt he phone vibrate. She let it ring twice while still staring at his tired face, before she allowed herself to rummage through her handbag to find the damn phone. It wasn't that difficult, but she raised an eye brow when she saw the number.

"_It's Kyouko_", she mimed with a hand over the speaker after greeting her friend with a caring: "Hi. How is it?"

Had Ren been fully awake and in his right mind he would perhaps have marveled at Kanae's stone face staring at him while at the same time talking like the best of friends worrying for the wellbeing of the one on the other end of the line. Instead he just bit back his frustrations as he lowered himself in his seat after his rash decision to stretch for the phone only to meet with the horror of Kanae which he now sat and faced while thinking rapidly, at least a bit more awake than he had been a moment ago.

He had to admit he was at a loss of what to do, and forcing himself on Kanae to force her to give him the phone would not solve anything, he would gain nothing but his love interest's best friend's support in trying to keep him away from her, which he really could do without. What he needed now was all the help he could get. He had watched many romances, but never really played in one before, excluding _Dark Moon_, which wasn't a full-fledged romance, which meant he had not had the need to feel this way before, as he often made himself feel the way his characters felt to make it seem realistic, since he certainly had never been in love before. Many of his experiences he had gained through movies and dramas, making him feel more secure when he faced the situations in real life, and vice versa. Watching something was not enough to increase his self-esteem when he had to live through it now. He was unprepared. Doing this unprepared was not something he wished for.

His mind raced, his thoughts incoherent and all tumbled together in a mess he couldn't hope to map out in the short amount of time he had on his hands, before Kanae decided he was hopeless after all. He hadn't realized his hands were gripping so tightly around his coffee cup he barely remembered ordering, and forced them to let go of it when he heard a small crack.

"I'll make her happy", he said, though at the moment he didn't feel confident enough to say such things. It was as she had said, she might not want to reconcile with him, and if that was the case, then how could he say that he was the one fit for her?

Kanae made s small shushing sound with her finger resting over her mouth, and he bit his sore lip, not feeling the pain or the iron taste of blood sipping over his tongue.

"No, it was nothing", Kanae said and chuckled while glaring at him. "Of course I'm alone. Why would you think otherwise?" Though Ren sat opposite her in the small café so obviously not empty, he almost felt inclined to believe her. She truly was an amazing actress. He kept his mouth closed not to interfere with the conversation any further and finally she lowered her stern eyes and concentrated on talking to Kyouko.

"Yeah, I know, I know, you don't have to apologize. I was just a little grumpy then 'cause I hadn't eaten anything in a while… No, it's not your fault; I could've eaten at my last job, but chose not to. I've actually gained a little from all your sweets you keep pestering me with…" she chuckled a little, completely at ease with having Ren sit and listen to every word she said.

"You don't have the right to speak, you tiny thing, but yeah, you probably should. I mean, not that you'll go fat, but with your wrestling lessons coming up, you're gonna be eating a lot more, and with your Natsu… Yeah? Sawara-san can be cruel… Hahaha, poor man. Oh well, it's all the president's fault, if he wants to complain, he should go to him…" she said, with an evil smirk playing on her lips.

Ren was growing more and more frustrated the longer he listened to the one-sided conversation, and not only because he was dying to hear Kyouko's voice himself. What was this talk about wrestling lessons? He was worried, to say the least. He also knew he had no right to say anything, and bit back a growl at the thought of another man being close to her while swinging her around in the air in an attempt to teach her different grips. She would become even more dangerous to anger. Not that he enjoyed doing so, but at least he was sure she wouldn't do him any _physical_ harm, if he happened to make another mistake like this.

"Actually, I was wondering if you had some free time on Friday…" he heard Kanae say and felt himself be drawn in by the words. This Friday would be their first filming on _Looking for Ever Love_. "Yes, we'll start the filming at eight in the morning… School? Oh, I see. Well, that's fine. I was just a little nervous, I don't know anyone and the director seems horrible…"

Ren gaped at her. Her whole demeanor screamed afraid and nervous, a face he had not even caught the slightest of glimpses of on the first meeting with the cast members. Then she had been all smiles and professional handshakes. Already, she had made contact with the girls she would be playing closest to, her character seemed fit and ready to go, and the director had been especially nice to Kanae who'd play the lead for the first time. _This young lade can be truly scary_, he thought.

"I'm not all that…" Kanae whispered embarrassed, and at first he thought she had read his mind, before he caught on that she was still talking to Kyouko. "Ren?" she asked and Ren's heart jumped. "I know, I know, but could you anyway? Maybe some other time? Two weeks?" she said, sounding really sad and Ren felt his heart sink. "Of course it's still necessary!" she said very loud, and a few customers turned around to glance at the girl. Ren bowed his head low not to be noticed, and no loud exclamations were heard, so it must have succeeded. "Okay, I'll call you about the schedule when I know more. Thanks, Kyouko, I really appreciate it. Good night."

She brought the phone from her ear, closed the call and looked at Ren with a really serious expression, close to the a glare, which made him wonder if the phone call had even taken place, as nothing had changed it seemed. Then she sighed and a look of exasperation appeared on her face. A small smile decorated her lips. "It seems you've got your chance."

"I couldn't thank you enough", he said, truly meaning it.

"You better prove worthy of all this, 'cause I just lied my tongue black to my best friend" she said and a bit of the previous anger flashed over her features. "And one more thing", she added as she stood up and pulled her handbag over her shoulder. "You leave her be, okay? No calling, no meeting her in the hallways, no mean smiles, and no _good_ smiles either", she said and received a questioning look from Ren. "You aware she has names for your slip-ups? Are you familiar with the _Demon Lord_ and the _Emperor of the Night_? Well, that's what she calls them, and don't ask me anything, 'cause I was too grossed out to ask."

She left him sitting very similar to a statue with his mouth hanging lose and eyes wide open. It wasn't the time to giggle, but she allowed herself to smile as she once more listened to the tingling of the bell as she exited the café.

~Not that far away, in the Daruma-ya restaurant, Kyouko looked at her phone, lost in thought. She would follow Kanae to her job in two weeks to see Re-, no to work as support for her suddenly nervous friend. She wondered what had caused the sudden change, since she was usually very confident and was always the one to deny feeling insecure, or in need of help. She felt a bit happy that Kanae had showed her this new side of her, but it worried her nevertheless that she would be so close to the man that caused her such tumult in her chest.

She gripped the phone tightly, then put it on her nightstand and rummaged through her closet until she found the little purse containing her precious Corn. She opened it and held it up to the light of the moon outside the window she had yet to cover up for the night. In the illuminated light, the colour-shifting was odd, as it turned dark green, shifted to red and then back again, instead of the usual yellow colour it would normally assume, but it still brought comfort. She gazed up at it in wonder as if it was the first time and complimented its beautiful magical colours. She sent a greeting to the real Corn, wished him happiness, told him a little about her day as she had used to do when she called Ren. _No! No thinking about him now_, she thought and desperately clung to her memories of Corn.

She hoped that he could hear her prayers. After a while she could relax a little and when she finally put it away, she felt at ease. She went to bed as the time had already become late. When she turned the light off she almost immediately fell asleep.

She dreamt that night. Her dreams were filled with memories of Ren, as her exhausted mind had just dumped all the information in an untouchable box that only the dream fairies could touch upon. They sorted through her thoughts, conscious and unconscious, picked and chose, erased and brought forth. They did not finish that night, but at least the angels and demons that guarded her during the day were up and alert again as they left the girl in their hands in the morning until she would once again enter the realm of the dreams as the sun would set and leave room for the night.

**This day just keeps on getting longer; at least it has ended now. Nothing much happened in this chapter, but there were some important matters that had to be sorted out before the story could go on. I hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to review. Until next time…**

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	10. Chapter 10

At six am in a room on the second floor of the restaurant Daruma-ya, a young girl's phone buzzed eagerly while a song with a lot of bass and screaming guitar play sounded through the speakers in an attempt to wake her. It was not a difficult task a normal day in the middle of the week, but today was not like any other day, or rather, the previous day had not been like any other day. She still felt weary after all the drama she lived through and swiftly turned off the torturous sound. That song was the only one she had with that type of music, as she was not really a fan of hard rock, but it was amazing for slow mornings.

She sat up with closed eyes, trying not to fall for the temptation of leaning back under the covers and return to sleep now that the offensive alarm was killed. She sat for a moment like that, not daring to open her eyes. She was sure it would be very light in the room. She listened to the sounds of the house for a moment, allowing a smile to play across her lips as she heard the normal grumbling voice of Taishou and the sweet caring Okami-san answering in her quiet manner. They must have awoken late if they had yet to start cooking for the morning guests, she thought a little worried. Then she shook it off, they could handle it, and now was not the time to worry about others, she thought and tried to ignore the guilt pulsating through her.

Finally feeling a little more awake, she opened her eyes a glint and moved to the bathroom, still half-blind. She didn't fill up the bathtub to the top, that would take more time and water than was necessary, which meant that she did not really enjoy washing herself in the morning. The air around her felt cold while her lower body was steaming hot, not a combination to aim for. She soaped up quickly and hurried to wash it off. The towel laid ready to be grabbed by the tub as soon as she had taken the plug out, and as she stood up and wrapped it around her, she watched the water disappear down the pipe with a small swooshing sound.

Just as she stepped out of the steaming bathroom, she heard her phone ring again. Puzzled she walked over, wondering if she had set another alarm, but then the music was wrong. This was her normal calling tone. She casted a glance at the clock on the wall, just 6:25, who would call so early? Maybe Takenori, about some job, she contemplated when she saw the ID was unknown. For surely, it couldn't be… Then again, maybe it was her best friend calling to check up on her. Smiling broadly, she decided that was it and marveled at the kindness of Kanae, as she pressed the green button and happily exclaimed: "Good morning!"

It wasn't Kanae. Nor was it her manager, or her ex-friend, but it was a friend all right, just not the one she was expecting. "Well, don't you sound cheery…" a man's voice said grumpily.

"Shou! Why are you awake this early?" she said, equally astonished that he was awake as at the fact he had actually called her. You could never know what he would do when he felt bored, or rather, Kyouko could, but calling her was not included on that list.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay after everything that happened yesterday", he said, slightly offended at her assumptive voice telling him she did not think he could manage waking up this early, never mind she was right until this morning where he had suddenly found himself unable to sleep when the alarm he had set awoke him, in a, he had thought, futile attempt to make sure he was out of bed early enough to call her to check on her.

"Oh," was the only response he got, and he gritted his teeth in frustration. He really wasn't a morning person, even if he happened to be love-sick fool.

"So?"

"So what?" she asked, clearly confused.

"So, are you okay?" he said.

"Oh", she said again, and he was close to cracking the phone. "I don't really know. I haven't thought about it", she said, without mentioning that her avoiding thinking about _him_ was very deliberate, and not due to the early hour, for she had already many times had to push him out of her head.

"That's… good I suppose", she heard his faint voice through the speaker. She thought she could detect relief, but wasn't sure. "What's your plan for today? When do you start?" he suddenly asked, abruptly changing the subject, perhaps to spare her the thoughts that were bound to return if brought up.

"I've got a guest appearance in _Witch Hunt_ today, at nine, so I'll need to leave in an hour to catch the train. Apparently they've fixed a transport from LME out to the woods so we won't have to find a lift there ourselves and get lost on the way", she said and forced a giggle.

"That's not funny, and since when do you take the train?" he said icily.

"What do you mean? I always take the train on Thursdays so that I won't have to ride my bike home so late", she said and realized she hadn't gone on a train in ages since Re-, _he_ would always drive her nowadays.

"You really should talk to someone about getting a manager, d'you know that? You're a new and rising actress who's already been in seven appearances on TV, someone is bound to notice you, and that will not be a pretty scene, if you're stuck on a train. Have you really done that every Thursday?"

"Ehrm, uhm, actually, _he_ used to give me a ride", she mumbled, embarrassed to say so, though why, she had no idea.

There was no question to whether he understood who she was talking about or not, as he growled low, causing her to jerk the phone from her ear a bit. She hadn't heard that coming from him in ages.

"Fine, then I'll pick you up", he said, not asked. "I'll be there at 7:15, be ready."

Only five minutes late, he knocked on the door to the restaurant, and the Okami-san opened and showed him in. When Kyouko showed up in the doorway up the stairs, she held her bag to her body and walked down, visibly cautious. Sure, he'd comforted her when she had accidentally dived into his chest while crying like a baby, but then he'd had little of a choice. Why he would go this far to help now was beyond her.

"You don't have to look so afraid", he said and offered his arm. He let it fall back to his side when she ignored it, turning his smile into a small frown. "I'm really trying", he whispered, too low for the curious couple watching them to hear, as he gently pushed her out the door to his car after she'd put on her shoes.

"Ne, anata, wasn't that the boy on the poster in her room that she's written such vulgar words over?" the Okami-san whispered to her husband when their young tenant left with the super star, completely unknown in any other way than the poster on her room.

The man only grunted in response and left to continue preparations for breakfast.

The ride to the LME building was very quiet as neither spoke. It wasn't one of those thick silences as when you can almost touch upon it, but it wasn't an altogether relaxed one as between two good friends who just happened to both have their mouths shut either. It was simply a quiet drive. Shou was too busy concentrating on the road as he had really just recently graduated from driving school and was a bit uncomfortable with having a conversation while driving, though he probably could, but being Kyouko he was sure their talk would somehow escalate into something more similar to a fight, at least a very emotional and possibly physical discussion, and _that_ he wasn't sure he could handle.

That being said, he still felt the need for something to be said, or at least kill a bit of the silence, as he was all too aware of the girl beside him, staring out the window, clearly lost in thought, and not about him, he guessed wryly. His fingers twitched at the desire to reach out and bring her back to the car she was sitting in with flesh and bone. When the movement became too obvious and actually moved a good few inches from the steering wheel he made it into an odd drum combination, before he clicked his tongue and turned on the radio, feeling really irritated.

Kyouko was visiting the realm of possibilities. Was this how it would have looked like if Shou had loved her back? Before, when she had been head over heels for the young man, she had perhaps not dreamt about being an actress, but at least to be close to him, to support him. The dream had become slightly twisted as they had moved to Tokyo and she had realized the best she could do was become the perfect shadow and support him from the background as he slowly entered a world she could not possibly think to join. Had he loved her then, was this how things would have turned out? Would he drive her to set before going to his own recordings? Would he comfort her when she cried? Would he coach her when she made mistakes? She bit her lip. No. If he had never left her, exposed her to the hatred, feelings of revenge, and opened her eyes to the reality, she would never have sought to become an actress. She would never have grown this much, and she would have awoken one day and realized that she wasn't happy, but without the tiniest chance of breaking free.

Instead her mind wondered to where she was today. She was an actress, an occupation that she loved and was something much more than just a job. She had friends; Kanae, Maria, Itsumi, Chiori, Ren… She tried again, she had friends; Kanae, Maria, Ren… She closed her eyes shut to rid herself of the image of his unfairly handsome face that persisted on slipping into her mind as soon as she didn't firmly direct her thoughts elsewhere. Not having the buildings of inner city in Tokyo flash past her through the window of the car didn't exactly help distract her overly imaginative mind she registered too late, as he was suddenly everywhere.

His arm under hers as they walked together, his silky hair between her fingers when he slept on her lap, his skin under her hands as she had mindlessly lost herself in his perfection, his back against her body as she pressed herself close and his lips meetings hers in a moment so painfully clear she could still taste him. Her eyes flashed opened. Her pulse loud in her neck. She sucked in air as if she had held it for minutes, and looked around with hunted eyes. The car had stopped, and she recognized the building. They had already arrived at LME and Shou had parked the car on the road just outside the personnel entrance. She turned to stare at him, trying to calm her wild reaction, and saw that he observed her with a crease between his eyes.

"Th-thanks for the drive" she stammered and reached to open the door. She had all but actually put her foot on the ground when she suddenly felt him grab her arm. Fear crashed through her body as memories of how he forced himself on her when he stole her almost-first kiss.

"Kyouko", he said very quietly and she turned to look at him. The expression was so filled with emotions she didn't know what to do with them, but she didn't feel scared any more. She watched him expectantly and he visibly hesitated. "Don't… don't let him ruin you."

She thought the statement was a bit off, but understood what he meant, and let a quivery smile dance on her lips. She brought her other hand to his grip and carefully and very gently plucked his fingers off her. She was thankful his strength left him at some point, for the situation reminded her all too much of when _he_ had grabbed her. She had not had a chance of escaping then, making her all too aware of the strength men possessed. When his hand was returned to him and her arm was again free, she raised her gaze to his face and noticed an almost fearful expression plain laid out. It was at these moments when he did not hide his true feelings behind a mask of indifference or cool that she questioned herself if he was really as cruel and horrible as she had pictured him after his betrayal. When a year had passed without him making any more stupid interruptions in her life, most of her anger had subsided to leave room for the wish to instead reconcile and make him a rival.

She hadn't made that into reality, and not only because of his sudden absence, after he had bumped in to her while she was playing Setsu, that had remained until yesterday, but for a lingering doubt. Just because he hadn't interfered with her life for a while, more than for the occasional invitation to be in his PV that she had gracefully declined on Ren's urging, didn't mean he had awoken from his teenage idiocy that had ruined her heart. She couldn't ever be sure, but at that moment, most of her suspicions were washed away.

She lifted her hand and slowly ran it down his cheek until she reached his chin. "Thank you, I won't" she said and left the car.

He let her go since he couldn't hold her there any longer without ruining whatever trust they had built up after their long and intense break-up. He stared at Ren, which he had noticed just as she was about to step out, and in a panicked second grabbed her to prevent her from meeting him, with warning eyes that conveyed the message _if you hurt her there won't be a you left to apologize_. Then he put the first gear in and left the street.

Ren was left very confused. Not only had an ever returning nightmare come to life as he saw Kyouko step out of Shou's car without the face of a released hostage, but the man in question had looked at him with a warning clear as daylight playing on his face, without glee in his eyes. He didn't spout out the look of victory or smugness he always expected to see if this were ever to happen. His fists clenched as he watched the car roll out swiftly with the driver not casting a second glance at him to ensure him it wasn't what it looked like. A brat with vague possessiveness he could handle, but a matured man with true feelings of love, he could not.

He followed Kyouko with his eyes and moved to the entrance after her, not having much of a choice unless he wanted to wait outside for her to disappear before he entered. His long strides were perhaps a little too eager as he reached the door soon enough for him to open it for her, and her eyes darted up to meet his with a surprised look on her face. He couldn't quite decipher the next expression that crossed her features, and didn't have enough time to start trying at that particular moment. Taking Kanae's warning seriously he didn't smile and just walked past her without saying a word not to break the promise of not speaking to her again. He could feel her eyes on his him, but ignored it. He was sure her gaze had turned hateful by then and wasn't willing to put himself in the way of it if he could avoid it. He didn't need confirmation that she really hated him now. Not after having watched the encounter between her and Shou as she had so tenderly stroked his face.

The irony of the whole situation prickled his back and he straightened out his shoulders as they threatened to hunch up in a defensive manner inappropriate for a model like himself. When had the game been turned on him, he wondered and picked up his phone to call his manager to inform him he had arrived as planned.

Inside Kyouko new feelings were stirring up. Coldness. She had not felt so cold in… she didn't remember since when. His look had been so distant, as he if he didn't even recognize her, and it wrenched her heart. Sure, she had told him to stay away, but she had not been prepared to deal with the look of complete despise as he had given her when they had first met. Unable to make her legs move or her voice work, she gripped her arms around her body and just watched his retreating back. It wasn't fair, how could he be so unaffected? Hadn't he said he loved her? She bit on the inside of her cheek to force some sense into her mind. That only proved what she already knew, there were no such thing as love. It was just lust for sex or wishes to have someone serve you, and sometimes a combination of both.

She didn't realize as she began shaking and sunk to her knees. No, she didn't believe that. When was it that she had begun doubting her conviction of a loveless life? She didn't know. She just knew that whenever she thought of him, whether it was before or after their lunch yesterday, her heart would race and her chest tighten. Whenever she saw his face she wanted to touch it, hear him speak and make him smile. She wanted to see the faces he didn't show anyone else. She wanted to know that he wouldn't leave her, even if she was being selfish.

No one of the increasing number that came through the door took any notice of her. They were already too used to the pink girls creating the most odd of things and didn't want to risk being associated with any of them, never mind all three of them had actually become quite famous in the previous year. Whenever they had their jump suits on it was as if they were labeled with an incurable decease that was passed on through looking for too long. Therefore Kyouko was very surprised when someone actually grabbed hold of one of her shoulders and shook it in search for a response.

"Kyouko-san, what's the matter?" asked a worried voice, making her give up her statue state and look up at the one causing the interruption.

It was Chiori, wearing her own cursed jump suit in pink, labeling her with the same decease and therefore making her immune to transmission of it. Leaving the silly thoughts behind, Kyouko forced a smile on her face and tried to greet her as cheerily as she could muster. She hadn't seen her friend in almost three weeks and shouldn't burden her with her worries the first second they meet.

"Hi, Chiori-san!" she said and let go of her death grip around her body. The look she received was not one of relief or happiness, and the smile slipped off her face.

"Really, Kyouko-san, I've known you long enough to see when something's wrong. Please don't exclude me; you and Kanae-san are the only friends I've got."

Suddenly she was filled with guilt as she realized it was true. After giving up her horrible notes where she kept writing everything that pissed her off, to instead start leading a life honest to herself, she hadn't been able to keep many friends. None but her cursed LoveMe sisters, to be exact. It wasn't that Kanae and Kyouko were perfect; they just shared the same fate and knew how to take random comments with stingy edges with a pinch of salt. It didn't hurt that Chiori looked up tremendously to the two actresses either.

"I'm sorry, it's not intentional. I just don't think you'll be so happy with what I'm about to say after you've heard it."

"Oh yeah? Try me?" she said with a determination glowing out her eyes.

"It involves love and Tsuruga Ren" she said and ignored the wince of pain bringing up his name caused her. Chiori's eyes bulged open and for a moment she seemed to have frozen in place.

"How long was I gone for?" she mumbled, more to herself than anyone else. "Now, give me all the details."

"I would love to, but I'm seriously running late for my job. We're supposed to go together to some place outside Tokyo, so being late is not really an option", Kyouko confessed and rose from her hunched up position on the floor, smiling thankfully at the hand that was offered to her.

"Oh" she said, a bit surprised. "Is it a closed set?" she then asked, causing Kyouko to frown in confusion.

"No, I don't think so. Why?"

"Great, then I'll come along! I've only got LoveMe work planned out for the entire day and it makes me yawn at just the thought of it", she said and hid a big, though played, yawn behind a hand in an excellent imitation of being on the verge of falling asleep, then smiled brightly.

"But won't you need to fit those hours in? Your schedule must be growing tighter just as mine and Moko-san's" she said, worried, and her eye brows rose as the girl looked a little sad.

"I haven't got any new big offers since my last project ended, so I'm stuck with small gigs here and there. I could really do LoveMe work at any time, and besides, I friend in need takes priority even if I had more work than Tsuruga Ren!" she exclaimed, then threw her hand over her mouth as she remembered what the issue with her friend was.

Smiling at her friend's consideration, she still suspected it was the thought of getting out of the LME building that was encouraging her more than the prospect of listening to her Kyouko's complaints about some man. She ignored her slip-up and nodded in agreement. "That's fine then, but we'll need to go now if we're to get there in the first place."

They hurried to the designated destination and met up with the rest of the cast that would go in the same bus. She asked the director if it was alright that her temporary manager (which Chiori happily agreed to become for the day) could come along, which she was granted with a nod and a look of _isn't that obvious_ feeling to it.

She greeted her fellow co-stars and then they went to pack themselves into the bus. It was bigger than a normal city bus, but with all the equipment tucked into the storage room under the bus, all the personal bags and accessories had to go in the bus, making the space cramped and warm very fast.

Chiori and Kyouko sat in the back together with a lot of baggage surrounding them in an attempt to seclude themselves a bit so that they could talk undisturbed. The closest person was sitting two seats before them, but if they whispered under the drone of the engine, it was very unlikely someone would hear them.

"So there, we're alone and we've got time. Now spill, what's this I'm hearing about Tsuruga-san?" she asked with an almost hungry expression, making Kyouko re-evaluate the possibility that Chiori might have looked forward to this trip _solely_ because she got to listen to her friend's complaints about some man, or rather, a certain man.

**Hope you enjoyed! It took longer than I thought to get the next chapter up since I don't really think it's much fun when my favorite characters are fighting. Please don't forget to review. Until next time…**

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	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Sorry about not saying so earlier, completely forgot. **

**Happy reading!**

_Summary so far: when Ren confessed to Kyouko she rejected him. He tried to explain everything to her and she made it clear that she did not wish to keep in contact with him. After a day on location for her guest visit in _Witch Hunt_ she is now reflecting on her conversation with Chiori. _

There wouldn't be much praise to the posture that Kyouko had when she lay on her back on the floor in the changing room on the Box'R set. Her arms was flung uselessly over her head with hands open and relaxed, fingers slightly bent as usually when not doing anything with them. She had one leg flat against the floor, while the other was bent outwards a little. Perhaps she would have been embarrassed at the exposed picture she portrayed, but her mind was occupied with her conversation she had had with Chiori just the other day.

"_So there, we're alone and we've got time. Now spill, what's this I'm hearing about Tsuruga-san?"_

_Feeling not little flushed at the situation she began to explain everything that had happened and watched carefully the other LoveMe member's change in expression, which was considerably small. She just watched her with a speculative look while biting on her lip, eyes widening at times, and head bent to the side during most of the story. When she finished she watched her audience with furrowed eyebrows and wished she was a mind-reader, for this was seriously eating at her._

"_Well, not to seem mean, but are you a complete idiot?" she asked, dead serious in the honest way she now lived. "You've been together with the guy for more than a year-"_

"_We haven't been together!" Kyouko exclaimed with red cheeks, though her heart made suspicious jumps as her mind fluttered to the thought of her and Ren together as an item. What was the matter with her? She despised love, if she didn't, she would be the happiest girl alive._

"_Alright, not officially, but certainly unofficially. You have regular dates, you miss him when he's gone, you feel happy when he's there, and when he touches you your body's on fire…"_

"_I never said that!" she screamed, a little too loud she realized as people turned around to look at her. She lowered her gaze and wished she could disappear into the seat, and not only because of the stares, for there lay truth in what her friend had said. That is what made her upset._

"_But you thought it", Chiori calmly continued with complete confidence at reading any person's reaction. "Anyway, and when he finally becomes brave enough to move to the next step, you crush him to pieces and then leave him cold. It's a miracle he even talked to you again. If I had been him I would have been so hurt I'd ignore you for the rest of my life and try and move on as soon as possible, possibly passing on a revenge on the way. But that's just me", she said in seemingly one breath. She checked her nails and continued, ignoring the girl next to her sitting wondering about the perfect fit for her character in Box'R. "That he didn't just proves how much of a man he is, and also that he's head over heels for you. You should really try and win him back before he changes his mind and decides all your faults are too much to handle."_

_Feeling not the least bit insulted by the words she felt herself lean into the possibility of Ren actually loving her repeatedly before stopping herself, pulling out from her fantasies, straightening her back, and then again begins wondering if it might be possible. She shook her head, a firm expression on her face with thin lips pressed together and a perfect posture if it wasn't for the tightly clenched fists she rested on her lap. Then her eyes softened. She looked out the window, clearly lost in thought. A small blush decorated her cheeks and a dreamy face presented itself. Then her hands pulled together again._

_Chiori soon grew tired of the continuous circle of emotions, deciding she wasn't making enough progress._

"_Look, he's a great guy. He's treated you well this entire time, and he's never rushed you to anything", she interrupted Kyouko as she opened her mouth to protest. "He kissed you, that's it! It doesn't count. Many people kiss, and not just their husbands and wives. He's been ever patient with you, and you have yourself said that he's your best male friend you've got."_

_She looked doubtful. It wasn't that she didn't trust Chiori, she was just scared. She had finally realized what had kept her back for so long. She was down right terrified of falling into the trap of love again that she knew would lead to betrayal and pain. She couldn't take another heartbreak. She wasn't strong enough. The big support that Ren was to her, if she lost it, she did not know how she would survive. She needed him, she realized. She needed him to be there, to never leave, no matter if she could never return his feelings; she needed him to wait._

_Sensing Kyouko's internal fight, Chiori kept quiet until she noticed tears streaming down her cheeks and hastily brought her into a hug. She held her trembling body while hushing the small sobs that escaped her tightly shut mouth. Attention would do nothing to help the situation._

"_I love you, Kyouko-san, you know that right? Kanae also loves you, even though she's got some trouble saying it. There are tons of people around you that love you, but just as many people there are, there are different kinds of love. Tsuruga-san loves you as well, but in a romantic way. He'd probably wait for you if you told him to, but right now he's hurting, just as you are. You belong together." She patted her on the back with gentle strokes without letting her out of the strong embrace._

"_And if he would ever hurt you, we would be there to kick him to the pits of hell, right?" she said and earned a small giggle and some sniveling. "Besides, you're so much stronger now. You wouldn't be fooled twice. The Kyouko-san that I know would never let herself be deceived by a man. But being in love is not the same thing as being deceived."_

"_But what if he's lying? What if he's given up on me? You know he didn't talk to me this morning at all, he just walked past me as if he didn't know me", she wailed quietly, voice breaking twice._

"_Don't joke with me, Kyouko-san, you should be as aware as I am that he's madly in love with you. Even he's not that great of an actor to fake something so sincere. And for the silence, you told me you told him not to speak to you. That he's honoring that promise makes him rise in my eyes. But that also means that you've got to hurry, he might think you were serious and actually leave. You mustn't let him do that, or this drama will never end", she said and sighed quietly at her friend's tendency to complicate things._

"_You think he really loves me?" she asked in a tiny voice, clearly not having heard another words beyond "he's madly in love with you"._

"_Yes, and you need to rope him in", she said, staring into the golden eyes that watched her intently as if the world's answer lay buried in her eyes._

"_Huh?"_

"_Seduce him! He's already suffered from love's poison and shouldn't be that hard to win back, but you need to speed up."_

"_Right!" she said and raised her fist in typical Kyouko-mode with determination burning in her heart._

Now being fired up was something Kyouko was very good at, the need to prefect things only added to that fact. She had learned at a young age it was her blood that made her so enthusiastically willing to throw herself into something wholeheartedly. She had, however, never been in this type of situation before. She had been told by her second best female friend to seduce a man. It wasn't just that she had no idea how to do that, especially considering she didn't think she was sexy or confident enough to bring his attention to her on her own accord as he had before been the one willing to look at her with her just being herself, it was also the smothering fact the she felt her skin burn up at the very thought of trying to… make a man look at her. She was even embarrassed to imagine his face as she instantly connected his image to her recent intentions.

"Gaaaah!" she said and ruffled her own hair while rolling around on the floor, her shut tightly and toes curling in frustration mixed embarrassment.

Her mind had wondered around in circles trying to approach this situation that her modest mind could accept, but she would always either find herself staring off into space for an undetermined time, or start screaming like now. She had often scared off many passers-by when they had been unlucky enough to cross her path at one of the moments she had occupied for "thinking of her situation" as she would like to phrase it. She hadn't realized that these moments had grown in size and number the past few days and that it was more likely to find Kyouko in a state where her mind had wandered off somewhere else, than being where it should be. She was lucky she was one of those people who lost themselves in their roles, or she would not have made it through her day without a few hundred NGs.

Her day at set had already ended and her coworkers had thanked her halfheartedly as they watched her walk away to her dressing room with stumbling steps. She had not heard any of them and clever as they were they had guessed to just let her be. They were not stupid enough to try and pry in to her problems as they knew just how scary their Natsu could get. Perhaps Chiori would have done something, but she had had to rush home as soon as their last scene was filmed, apparently her mother was sick but refused to go to the hospital.

Back to Kyouko's problem at hand, she had actually touched upon the idea of using her very manipulative Natsu to seduce Ren. That would surely bring her the confidence she needed. She might have really gone with the idea if it wasn't for the fact that he would instantly recognize her, seeing as how he helped her create her, and realize what a coward she was, and no one wanted to be with a coward. Maybe she was a coward? If so, then he would not want to be with her. What if he realized what a coward she was? She felt her hands get sweaty as she came to think of all the faults he could find in her if he would ever fall for her…seduction. Just the word made her cheeks burn.

_Something to do, something to do_, her mind offered, and she stood, finally leaving the awkward position on the floor. She didn't have anything else lined up for today, and it was a little late to do LoveMe work as there wouldn't be many requests at this hour. She considered going home but she didn't want to do that either.

Home had started to feel cramped and she couldn't really explain why. It was just how everything was so much the same. It was as if nothing had changed and yet everything had. Maybe it had to with not wanting to admit that she had once again fallen into the trap of love. Maybe it was that everything there reminded her of him as home had begun at the same time as he began in her life. Either way, she longed for something new, something fresh.

Not bothering to change as they had done an outside shooting and the clothes for her character were actually warmer than her own, she grabbed her bag and left the building. The people she met on the way seemed cautious of her but greeted her cheerily when she bowed and said her thanks as usually after filming. The air outside was chilly and the wind blew right at her making her eyes go teary. She blinked the moisture away and set a course in the opposite direction, enjoying the strong force in her back pushing her forward. It felt almost as if she would lift from the ground. Her face cracked up in a natural smile as she could almost see the wind fairies even this far from their habitat. When they had been out filming for _Witch Hunt_ she had spotted a few though they had disappeared very quickly. It saddened her to think she was getting used to the city life where her eyes would become eluded and cloud her view into the fairy kingdom.

One of the clerks about living in an urban area was how easy everything was to find. She skipped along the busy street, not minding were she went. She was pretty sure about her way in Tokyo by now and was not particularly worried about getting lost as her normal transport on bike allowed her to see everything wherever she went. The street names and all the signs did not hurt either as she would constantly be reminded of where she was and where she was headed.

Following the track she was on she reached a park with very few visitors. Looking around she only noticed a couple and a father with his daughter. She walked past them and sat down on a bench by the far end of the open ground. A small tree was planted only a few meters away from it and she thought it looked very lonely. Who had chosen to plant a single tree here in the midst of Tokyo? Or was it possible it was one of the few surviving in the deforestation as space was needed to build the great city? _Alone is strong_, she mused and pulled the bag off her shoulder. The script for her new drama came up and she opened it. She should read it anyway as the filming would start soon. She had begun creating her character but it was still slightly off, as if something important was missing. At this point she was all too perfect, no flaws. She needed something that would humanize her, take her down to where the people who would be following her on TV could relate to her, without changing the important aspects of her character or upset the director.

Another thing that bugged her greatly was how she would have to learn wrestling. She knew she was silly but she was not very eager to have to hug some sweaty stranger that was also probably of the male gender. She could just not see herself be that intimate with a man like that. _No, you just sleep with them instead, _a small voice whispered, but she ignored it_. _Even should she come over her disgust with the sweat, she also did not want to build muscle. None of her characters she played, but this one, obviously, fit with a well-built manlike body. On the other hand, she would not have time to grow arms the size of a rugby player's even if she trained every day, and she was an actress, and a professional one at that. Nothing would keep her from doing her job. Nevertheless…

Soon becoming absorbed in her reading she did not notice how time flew by until the street lights came on, changing the lighting too abruptly not to be noticed, opposed to the ever slight change of the Sun. She looked up and realized the couple and the small family was gone. In their place had come a drunkard. He was positioned on a bench by the way she had come. He paid her no attention but it still gave her the creeps and so she decided it was time to leave. Taisho and Okami-san would probably be worried since she had told them she would be home early. How regretful she felt for forgetting she had promised to help them out, especially now that her timetable allowed her less and less time to do so as her career had exploded.

Packing her stuff together she watched the man closely for any kind of reaction but he seemed to have fallen asleep since he did not move. She threw the bag over her shoulder and walked deliberately slow in case she should wake him. It was silly, really, as the sounds from Tokyo inner city should not have let him fallen asleep, or have awoken him if was easily so, but sometimes it is the smallest things. Tip-toeing she finally passed him and left the park and when her feet met asphalt she let out a sigh of relief. When had she turned so conscious of things like that? She shook her head and hurried on home without casting a second glance back, still feeling shivers down her back.

It did not take long before she had entered a street with less movement as she had come closer to the slums, an area she usually avoided, especially late at night, but it was a short cut and she was late. With her phone in a death grip and the numbers but the call button was pressed to the Daruyama, she walked a quickly as possible with continuous glances cast over her shoulder, feeling ever so uneasy. As she listened to the laughter of some rebellious teenagers down an ally she dearly regretted taking the shortcut no matter should she have arrived at home the day _before_ she started walking. She jumped when a metallic sound reached her ears, and she squeezed her phone ever harder until she feared she would break it and loosened the grip a bit.

When she finally came out in an area a bit more populated she drew a shaky breath and slumped her squared shoulders, feeling the stiffness. She nodded politely to an old woman who cast her eyes down to the ground. She did not blame the lady, it was quite wise not to meet anybody's gaze this late, she thought and hurried along. The wind was vigorous and she wished to have thought of bringing gloves. As she had almost come into view of her home she dared let go of her phone, now in a safe area. She blew on her frozen fingers and rounded the last corner before she would see the restaurant's bright light.

She bumped into a clothed chest and stumbled back. The breath she met carried a scent of alcohol and not enjoying the smell she held hers before looking up, knowing she would not be able to smile politely should she have to inhale that. Her gaze traveled upwards preparing for the worst, but the gleeful smile of a ruffed customer she knew often visited on both Fridays and Saturdays, she was not expecting. He stretched out an arm as if to support himself and she had to brace herself not to back away from him, knowing rudeness did not help business. His hand was heavy on her shoulder and she clenched her jaw not letting the huff escape her lungs.

"Good evening, Takamura-san", she greeted and he hic-upped in response showing a glimpse of recognition. "It is quite cold outside so you should really hurry home before you catch a cold, mister", she continued feeling slightly stupid talking to a man who clearly did not understand what she was saying as he blinked a little, seeming very sleepy.

He bent over, putting more pressure on her shoulder and she had to move her feet to be able to stabilize the heavy man. As she felt his breath tickle her ear she felt her blood run cold and sweat broke from her forehead. Remembering all the stories of what happened to girls that stayed out late, she gripped the strap of her bag and wondered if someone would hear her if she screamed.

"Well then, it is late and I should be going", she said and tried to move out from under his grip to bow and leave as quickly as possible. It did not go quite as planned as the grip he had on her hardened. "Takamura-san?" she asked nervously.

He grunted in response and she jumped when his unshaved chin scratched the base of her neck. This was very much too close for her personal comfort and she felt panicky when she tried backing away and met the gruff brick wall. When she finally felt his lips on her skin the last straw was drawn and she pushed with all her might. It had little effect as his mere body weight pushed her down. She tried screaming, noticing a man across the street, but she found her mouth covered by a large and sticky hand before a sound left her. Her mouth was too locked up for her to attempt biting him and it felt as if her knees would give away as she felt his other hand press against her chest. She wondered why she had not changed back into her own unflattering clothes instead of Natsu's very provocative so and could only blame her vain self for thinking _he_ would find her more attractive in her outfit.

As a last resort to free herself she kicked up her knee in hopes of meeting with his more sensitive area but was somehow blocked by a leg and she realized he had kept her beside him, rather than straight opposite, which had the same affect, really, seeing how large her was. Cursing her own bloody fate she felt tears streaming down her face and wondered why no one saw her, why no one reacted.

Swallowing hard, her stomach was in turmoil from the fear and she did not have any strength to even try to wriggle herself free. Small wailing sounds could be heard if you listened closely which no one did, but Kyouko thought bitterly what a sad sight she was indeed. She had once again fallen victim to man. Had she not promised herself never to be caught in the claws of them again? Had she not destroyed a perfect friendship with a potentially perfect lover just for that cause? How could she have let herself get into this situation after all that? She bit down hard from frustration, in effect biting her own tongue, not really improving her mood.

Then she felt hopelessness dawn on her. What did it matter should her body be violated? Her heart was already crushed with little hope of mending. She realized that her obsession with seducing Ren had been little more but a distraction with no real emotion behind. She also realized that she really loved him but that her earlier heartbreak would forever keep her from accepting another man into her life. She was not willing to throw herself off a clip in such a way that going into a relationship craved with all its sacrifices, uncertainties and doubts. With that built up as a wall to protect her there was no way that he would fall for her _seduction_.

She also felt shame. She did not want anybody to see her in this state. She felt so dirty from just being breathed on by this, this… thing. That it was not her fault did not register in her mind, just that she was in this situation and that she wanted to be far away and with no eyes on her.

The thing holding her was mumbling but no words reached her ears as she had detached herself completely from her body. Her blood was boiling and frozen ice cold at the same time. She could not feel her hands and her feet did not seem to be attached to her body. Her eyes were shut closed and yet the tears slipped through but she did not feel the moisture on her face either. She had instead wandered off to a place far off in her mind, a place no one could touch or see. A place most people could only sense at very special times in their life, at very sad times, at desperate times. It was a place of peace, of purity, that should it be invaded by human beings it would be stained. This place she entered to hide, for it was as far from her reality as she could come. There she could find relaxation.

A calm beating was drumming in her ears, a soothing sound that brought with it memories of happy times, of times with strength and pride. She felt security, as a child embraced by strong arms that she knew would protect her. The beating was accompanied by a strong wind. It did not carry cold but was refreshing and honest. It almost felt wet and soon she was surrounded by water instead of wind, yet the wind was there. She saw the small bubbles of air and felt the sweet water on her tongue. It filled her with peace.

Instead of feeling the water, she was the water and she whooshed forward, in circles and around, up and down. She felt freer than she had ever felt before. Yet there were others in her. As she was water and air at the same time she was not one, but many. She felt others' presences and embraced them, for here she was not afraid. She felt what they felt, and they felt what she felt. She was them and they were she. She realized they were the same, just parted in different bodies when they were not here, at this place, but they were really all together. They shared bonds not seen by the eye, but felt in the heart.

This oneness washed away her fear, made it feel as she had never felt it, as if she had never felt anything at all. Her memory was gone as if she was born just seconds ago, or not born at all. Perhaps born, lived and died. She was living and dead, alive and not yet born. She was! She was here!

Her eyes flung open and met with darkness of the night. Pain reached her again and she became aware of her own body. Though not much time had passed, she was aware that she did not have many seconds to spare for reorientation. She twisted her head and tried to bite at his sticky hand, not caring that it smelled bad of whatever bacteria she might invite to her system. He barely recognized that she moved and was not prepared for the kick to his shin, but grunted in pain when she made contact to the small of his leg. His momentary loss of balance was her only chance and she ducked, ignoring her protesting crurals, she flung herself under his arm. Almost stumbling over her own feet as she could suddenly move she ran for all of her being towards the safe of her home. She did not stop to listen for sounds behind her, but figured he should not be in a state good enough to run after her.

When she finally saw the familiar sight of the Darumaya she made a mad dash and threw the door up, scaring the wits out of a customer on the way home. Earning a stern look from the Taisho she bowed in apology, still with terrified tears running down her face, though the fear had left her. She was safe.

As an apology for not updating for so long I made the chapter extra long. I hope you enjoyed, and please review to let me know if you liked it. Personally, I thought it became quite mushy in the end. Cheers!


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, long time no see! Hopefully I'll managed to complete this long dragged out story before my Christmas holiday ends and I go on Hiatus again ;)**

_Summary so far: After her talk with Chiori Kyouko decided to try and seduce Ren but was terrified by the thought. On her way home after almost a week's mental battle, she was almost sexually assaulted but found peace in her mind and managed to break free. She realized her love for Ren and fear of commitment._

Almost a week had passed since she arrived home at Daruma-ya's after nearly being raped by one of their customers. The Okami-san had at once seen something was wrong and dragged the truth out of the girl and sought to persuade her to file a report to the local police but Kyouko had refrained. She did not want this known, not want to remember. Takamura-san had been banned from the restaurant and Kyouko's life had returned to normal, or rather as normal as her life can be called in the mess she had created.

She now lay in bed staring at the ceiling waiting for the alarm to go off. Sleep had been a stranger to her for the past days which was evident on her pale face where bags under her eyes proved as evidence to her upset state of mind. She was not very troubled by the fact as it only gave her another opportunity to put make-up on. It did however prove troublesome when she would doze between takes on set. Her fellow coworkers had started looking at her strange, similar to when in the LME building she was wearing the cursed LoveMe get-up, yet these scornful glares had a more hostile edge to it. She assumed it could only be expected after her unprofessional behavior that had continued ever since _he_… She stopped. _Do not think about it_, she cursed. She had managed to keep her mind occupied, adverted to other things, non-harmful things that kept her safe. She continued on her train of thought before it left its rail. The directors on her job-sites had no reason to be upset with her however, as her performance in front of the camera was flawless. You could even say her acting had improved and perhaps there was no real surprise there. When she set her mind to something, especially when she needed to distract herself, she immersed with her role and got the job done in excellent manner.

She sighed. It was between takes that she found it difficult to breathe. When her mind could not be taken over by another, and she had to face reality, it was then that her heart twisted and cramped, her mouth went dry and her eyes burned. Air escaped her and she pulled her hands to her throat and she struggled not to let the black dots expand and dominate her senses. She could not succumb to the darkness now, she needed to stay awake. She needed to start accepting who it was she had become. She was an actress now, an empty one. She was a mask that would take on the face of whatever she director required. She needed to become someone that her colleagues would recommend so she could continue rising. She needed to have a goal or she would surely wither away.

Finally she drew a rattling breath and the disappearing reality returned with some clarity. She took another one and soon the desert that was her throat subdued to an arid coniferous forest. She rolled over until she fell off her futon and hid a grimace at the cold floor. Slowly she rose, in an almost zombie-like form, dragged herself to the bathroom and filled the tub to half-full. Sliding in she shivered at the cold water and began washing, concentrating on the movement, taking just a short break from thinking. It did not last long enough. When she had fixed herself up and stood waiting for her ride she was left alone to her unhappy thoughts and immediately she felt her world start spinning. Sinking to her knees a flood of emotions struck her like lightening and she gasped.

This is how Fuwa Shou found her when he pulled up on the restaurant's drive way. He quickly jumped out of the car, not bothering to turn off the engine, and rushed to her side. He pulled her into his arms and hushed her calmingly. She was shaking and her fingers were ice cold he realized when he took them in his own. Silently he cursed the actor who had caused her this pain the umpth time and then felt guilt nudge him unpleasantly in the stomach. He knew there was more to this pain she was experiencing than fear of rejection, because he knew where the deeply rooted fear had sprung from.

Gently he pulled her into his arms and carried her to the car and tucked her in the passenger seat. She did not respond to his actions and he bit his lip contemplating what brought this sudden break-down on. She was in pain, he knew, but there had been little evidence of such as she had kept it together, at least whenever he was present. Was this how she acted when he was not? He furrowed his eyebrows at the thought and pulled them out into traffic.

He waited a moment before he dared speak to her. She did not seem to be about to break out of her trance and he was worried he would have to leave her at her job in such a state. He could not, of course, but he did not know what he could do for her. Not that he did not care for his own work, he knew he would be in some amount of trouble should he decide to skip out on such short notice, but he also knew that he would do it in a heartbeat if it turned out Kyouko would not snap out of this. Maybe he could call her friend, Kanna, Kaname? Kanae, yes that was it, Kotonami Kanae. She seemed a reasonable enough girl to know what to do in a situation like this.

"Kyouko?" he gently called to her but she did not react to his voice so he proceeded to touch her shoulder. To his surprise and great relief that only lasted a second she turned her head to him, only to show her completely hollow eyes that gazed unseeingly at him. He shuddered and squeezed her arm. "I know it's painful. Alright? I can see your pain, I can feel it, but it isn't going to continue like this forever, ya know. It's going to get better. You of all people should know, right? You suffered heartbreak, and this really isn't like that. This is just you being afraid."

He knew he was being harsh even with his gentle voice. He knew his words would probably strike a chord in her mind. She had always been sensitive to a reminder of their past. He was also uncertain whether she had actually forgiven him for breaking her heart. He hoped so, after this week it was almost as if the Tokyo-catastrophe had never happened. Yet he knew that if she truly and from the bottom of her heart had really forgiven him, she would not be hurting right now. It saddened him but he also realized that he had an opportunity at his hands. If he could make her understand that what had happened between them in that company room where she had brought him his dinner, if she could accept that he had been an immature jerk, horny and hungry for change, if she could forgive him for his thoughtless and selfish actions of that time, she might mend her heart and open up to love once more.

Ha studied her empty face and clenched his teeth. They had arrived at LME and he was reluctant to let her go. He needed to try just a little bit more before he recoiled back into his nest to figure out a plan. Perhaps what she really needed was for him to stay. If she saw who he really was, or rather who he turned out to be after she forcefully turned him into a grown man, she might even accept his own love for her. Then he looked at her crestfallen face and his heart sank. She would not be this far gone if she did not truly love that man.

"Kyouko, we're here and you need to get to work. You don't want to let your boss down do you?" he asked challengingly and watched in amazement how her face was brought from indifference to a determined awareness.

She turned to look at him again and almost smiled. "I'm sorry I'm bringing you so much trouble, Shou. Thank you for once again taking care of me", she said and he felt like crying at her distant voice. It sounded like if came from miles and miles away.

Before he could stop himself, he reached out and touched her cheek. "Any time, Kyouko. Please rely on me from now on."

She jumped out and bowed slightly before shutting the car door and disappearing into the building. He threw his head into the steering wheel and cursed with clenched teeth and fists round together so hard it hurt when his nails dug into his palms.

~Just as she stepped into the building her body started vibrating violently and she hurried to fish her phone from her front pocket and check the number. It was Kanae, someone she had avoided talking to for some time now and she was still not entirely sure it was a good idea when she pressed the green button with fingers so cold she did not feel them.

"Moshi-moshi?" she said hesitantly and pulled back quickly when a bone-shrilling voice boomed at her from the other end. For some minutes she stood rooted to the ground still as a statue while she listened to her best friend's raving about ignored calls and worst friend ever. "Gomenasai", she mumbled quietly when there was finally a pause in the ranting, and the voice was suddenly silent.

"MO! You make me feel so bad when you sound so … so pitiful!" she exclaimed in her normal energetic voice. "I was so upset at you for not taking my calls and then I was really worried when I saw you hanging out with Fuwa and I didn't know what to think anymore! Mo!"

Kyouko managed to crack a small smile at the admissions to worry and then proceeded to feel really bad about avoiding her best friend when she had been so sweet, something you did not see often in the case of the raven-haired girl. "I'm so sorry Moko-san. I just… I couldn't…"

There was a silent "hmph" on the other end then her voice was suddenly gentle when she said: "I get, I really do, but I would be very happy if you would not try to shut me out. I want to be there for you, even if I might not be of great help. I thought that is what friends were for…" He voice had turned really quiet and Kyouko felt something rough squeeze at her shattered heart.

"Of course!" she sniffed. She had slumped her shoulders and stood pressed against a wall with her forehead resting again the cold cement wall that made up the personnel entrance. Small tears that she thought she had run out of a long time ago came rolling down her cheeks and she shut her eyes tightly and pressed her unoccupied hand to her chest in a balled fist.

"I miss you, you know", came Kanae's voice in a begrudging tone through the receiver, but Kyouko could hear the sadness in the words. "So please don't shut me out."

"Wakatta", she answered in almost a whisper, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Where are you?" asked Kanae and when she got the answer the small clinking of high heels against lament floor could be heard. "I hope you haven't forgotten that you promised to come with me to set today", she reminded her and Kyouko gasped audible and started shaking.

"Moko, I can't… with _him_ there…"

"Don't you dare!" Kanae boomed and her voice was once more powerful and frightful. "I need you to be there and after the week you put me through you certainly owe me! I haven't seen you in ages and this is really eating at me"!

Kyouko knew she was exaggerating; they had been away from each much longer than a mere two weeks, but she agreed that these two weeks indeed felt like an eternity. She continued to listen to Kanae's angry admission of her absolute need for the presence of her best friend today and Kyouko broke in just when she took a breath to continue.

"How about I meet you when you finish, I need to be at Box-R today until four o'clock so I really couldn't see you, unless you want me to skip work?" she asked with just a bit of a maliciousness entering her voice to put and edge to what she was saying.

There was silence on the other end and finally Kanae agreed that they could meet up afterwards. She sounded a bit dismissed and Kyouko immediately regretted her harsh words but she barely had time to say anything before their conversation was cut short by Kanae's sudden need to leave. They quickly said their goodbyes and Kyouko sadly listened to the beep indicating her friend had hung up.

She sunk to the floor and let the shaking consume her. She knew she did not have time to dissolve in another fit of immense grief and she tried unsuccessfully to bring herself out of it. Her breathing was ragged and broken as her chest felt double-folded and compressed. _Not now, not now, not now!_ she thought desperately and clawed at the floor trying to bring upon enough physical pain to snap her out of this hellhole. She wished for the peaceful place she had recently used as a haven. The place where she merged with the wind and water and flowed through the stream of consciousness that was not her own. She place she entered when she fell asleep. She could not go there now, there was no time. Time! She had to get up or she would lose the one thing that kept her sane. Professionalism that had slowly built up in exponential measures took control of her body as she forced her legs to get off the ground and start moving in the direction of the locker room where she would check in and start her day. Work, work, work!

When she walked through the grand entrance that inconveniently was positioned between the personnel entrance and the LoveMe locker room, she focused all her energy on moving towards her goal. She was so determined not to glance sideways in case _he_ would appear, she almost missed him. However, in an almost inhuman way he body recognized and longed for his presence that her eyes snapped to his tall form that just stepped out of an elevator. Their eyes met for a split second and she almost fell to the ground again but she forced her body to keep moving. She moved to the stairs that at least lay a few metres away from the elevator that would bring them far too close for her heart to handle.

He had stopped she noticed when she crossed his path had he continued moving, and she felt his eyes follow her as she at last reached the staircase and started climbing in slow deliberate steps. She sweated and felt like ice at the same time and her hand trembled when she let it slide up the railing. The other she pressed to her body crushing the contents of her bag to her ribcage but did not feel the discomfort. She only concentrated on ignoring the feel of his eyes on her back.

It felt like an eternity but she finally reached the place where the stairs split to start again in the other direction. She could still see him if she allowed herself to look his way, which she did not. She still saw him, though, as an infinity of flashes with images flooded her mind of his brown, warm gaze that held hers. He would smile, laugh, wink, say something, ruffle her hair, stroke her cheek, press his forehead to hers, kiss her hand…

It was a miracle she did not fall as the mental recap of their relationship assaulted her. Her back was rigid as a pine tree and her eyes locked on the platform at the end of this endless stair case. Why, she wondered, had she not simply taken the elevator? Or ran away while she still could? As her body continued to slow increasing the already too long time it took to reach to second floor, she knew she could have never made her body work that fast, or survived the close proximity an actual encounter so near him taking the hiss would ensure. She also realized that she _needed_ him to watch her. Even with the pain of his eyes on her caused, she could not have gone another day without him seeing her. She wanted to make sure he would not forget her. It was stupid, she would be happier should he move on and stop this forever tense relation they had. She clutched her heart as the thought came to her and she rejected it before it rooted in her mind. No, he was never allowed to forget. As she would surely forever remember and grieve him, he must not forget her or she would not survive. Of this she was sure as she slowly resumed breathing and her heart continued thumping. Yes, he must always remember.

She reached the end and was relieved and sorrowful at the lack of his gaze. She realized she might have imagined it altogether. Maybe he looked away as quickly as she did, maybe his eyes did not linger as she could have sworn just seconds before. Now she regretted not having checked. Then again, if she had, she might not have made it. She threw her hand to her face and swallowed again and again trying not to let it beat her. No, he looked, she was certain. He looked and she did not. It was not too late yet. She stopped. Too late for what? Did she plan of returning? Had she unconsciously decided she would go back to him? Did she even want to, now that she knew of both his and her feelings? _Yes!_ her mind screamed at her and she recoiled. She was startled and could barely keep her feet moving.

As she reached the locker room she had finally made up her mind for the first time since an eternity. She would go to Kanae's set, she would meet up with…Ren. She would ask if they could reconcile and resume their friendship. Maybe… Yes, definitely!

With lighter steps than she had taken since Ren had first kissed her, she closed the distance between her and her locker, changed her clothes and smiled into the small mirror on the inside of her locker door. She took a deep breath that filled her lungs, and another one and rejoiced at the fresh feeling. She was back!

**Okay, so it was quite sad, but you know, it's getting better :)**


End file.
